Written by queen mudder

Monday, 8 October 2012

image for Broadsheet dubs singer Katherine Jenkins 'an offensive and dangerous sham'
Entertaining the troops at Afghanistan's Camp Bastion

London - A 'Classic Brits - an offensive and dangerous sham' caption on the paper's front page sits squarely above the Welsh mezzo-soprano's pic.

It's the latest media swipe at the diminutive blond warbler who bizarrely - an for no apparent reason - tantalized the public last month with an impromptu denial 'of ever having shagged David Beckham'.

Today's put-down by respected concert pianist James Rhodes outs the successful self-publicist as a complete fake in an article excoriating the Classic Brit awards as a load of entertainment industry bollocks.

"It's a sickening crime against classical music," Rhodes rails against the 'plastic' entertainer as he shovels more contempt on Jenkins and pals such as Mylene Klass and Vladimir Horowitz,
neither of whom he considers proper 'pianists'.

Other detractors have previously queried how Jenkins - once described as a 'Poison Dwarf' doppelganger to former Dallas star Charlene Tilton - ever managed to scale the entertainment industry's greasy pole.

Rumors abound that her Farces Sweetmeat - er...Forces Sweetheart! - moniker owes everything to royal string pulling following her 2006 Festival of Remembrance performance in front of Queen Elizabeth.

Critics of that Royal Albert Hall rendition reckoned it was on a par with The Muppets' Miss Piggy singing Dolly Parton's famous hit 'I Will Always Love You'.

"Yeah, too true," a Royal Opera House source commented today, "except that Miss Piggy's a natural blonde.

"Wanna see naked pics of her and Kermit in a Windsor Castle hot tub circa 2001?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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