Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 8 October 2012

image for Scarlett Johansson Wishes Newlyweds Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively Hell!
Scarlett in a scene from her film "Diary of An Upstairs Maid." (Photo courtesy of Pipe Dream Films).

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Scarlett Johansson received quite a bit of praise from the speech she gave at the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina.

She told Political Salad Bar Magazine that President Obama was so pleased with the way she verbally hammered Paul "The Teacup Chihuahua" Ryan that he invited her to attend a White House Backyard Barbecue in her honor.

The 27-year-old actress was jubilantly overjoyed and noted that she was looking forward to her airplane ride on Air Force One.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: The president stressed that yes he is sending his personal plane Air Force One to pick up and return the very sexy Miss Johansson. But he wanted to make it perfectly clear that the total cost is being paid for from a special Air Force One Account that is completely funded by private donations from such wealthy individuals as Oprah Winfrey, George Clooney, Nancy Pelosi, Mr. and Mrs. Jay Leno, and Bob Dylan.]

Savannah Bamboo with PSBM asked Miss Johansson what she thought about the recent wedding of her ex-husband Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively.

The actress who appeared in such films as The Nanny Diaries, The Butler Diaries, and The Upstairs Maid Diaries, rolled her eyes and said that she cannot believe that her low-life, cheating, ex-husband would get married so soon after their divorce.

She then added that he denied that he was involved with Blake The Flake during their marriage but she revealed that she had noticed that one night "Lyin" Ryan, as she now refers to him, came home with a tiny tattoo with the initials BL tattooed underneath his right underarm.

Another time Scarlett said that she also found some of Blake's DNA inside Ryan's wallet.

Johansson told Miss Bamboo that she refuses to wish Ryan and his new bride well and instead wishes them hell!

An Upcoming Holiday. October 16, is National Wink Day, except in Arizona.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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