Written by Skoob1999

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

image for Carol Vorderman 'Outed' As True Inventor Of Rubik's Cube
As Perfected By Carol Vorderman

One of the best kept secrets of the twentieth century has finally been laid bare - as it transpires that the true inventor of the Rubik's Cube, was not, in fact, Hungarian mathematician, Emo Rubik, but none other than our very own 'loose woman', Carol Vorderman.

A double glazing salesmanman, and Industrial Spy from Westward Ho! initially exposed the scandal, after overhearing a heated conversation in a Moscow hotel restaurant, during which three apparently Eastern European men almost came to blows whilst obviously discussing the Rubik Cube, and shouting out the names 'Emo Rubik' and 'Carol Vorderman.'

During the course of the 'debate' the three men were noted, angrily waving Rubik Cubes around, and carelessly name-dropping. Most notably, repeatedly dropping the name of Carol Vorderman into the exchange.

"I was intrigued," Ernie Fosdyke, a British double glazing salesman, and part time Industrial Spy, who was in the Russian Capital on a business trip, told Maths & Science Monthly. "So I got an English speaking waiter over to translate for me. When he told me that they were arguing over who'd originally invented the Rubic Cube, Emo Rubik or Carol Vorderman, I was gobsmacked. I'd never heard Carol Vorderman talked about in connection with the Rubik Cube - I'd always thought she was the one who invented Sudoku and The Times Crossword puzzle."

Upon arriving back home after his business trip, Ernie did some research of his own, and came up with a pretty startling explanation.

"At first, Rubik designed the cube as an office toy, designed to reduce stress," explained Mr Fosdyke. "But it was just made of wood, with a plain finish. Shortly afterwards, the late Richard Whiteley gave Vorderman a cube as a gift, on the set of TV words and numbers puzzle game show, Countdown, and after studying it for a while, she apparently said that it would make a good puzzle if it had coloured stickers on the sides. And that's how Carol Vorderman really invented the Rubik Cube. You see, it wasn't until it became a mathematical puzzle that it really took off. Apparently Carol Vorderman is very modest about this multi-coloured sticker inspired milestone in her life, always playing it down whenever anyone mentions it. But I suppose that's just the kind of modest, unassuming lady that she is."

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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