Demi 'Whips-It'

Funny story written by TAR

Sunday, 29 January 2012

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Yummmmm

Demi Moore's descent from red carpet to frequent Piggly-Wiggly supermarket visits followed a crisis reportedly brought on by a decidedly delicious party combo of Whip-It, Redi-Whip and Dream-Whip.

She was "re-dispensing" and otherwise "acting like she was suffering from aerosol whipped cream overload," a source told ETZ! 

The raven-haired beauty, who mega star handlers revealed is now seeking help for extreme whipped cream stress and "inhalation exhaustion," was doing multiple "whip-its," ETZ.com reported online.

The inhalation of multiple whipped cream dispensers, sent Demi into a state of other-ultra intoxicated worldliness.

Friends, family and ex's have watched with increasing worry the 49-year-old "Ghost" star's downward spiral - and stunning weight loss that has left her looking like a walking stir stick.

People's .com reports that a battle with aerosol dairy consumption was among the reasons her marriage to 33-year-old actor Ashton Klutcher collapsed like a whipped cream filled sponge cake.

"It was a sticking point for poor Ashton," a source told the mag. "He wanted her to take care of herself and get a hold of things, and she wouldn't let go of the damn aerosol canisters".

"Her family and friends have been really worried," the source said of Moore, whose first marriage also ended in a super messy Hollywood style divorce.

"Demi is a freaking whipped cream mess," a close friend told People's.com.

"Really, it was over the last year her friends saw a change" another source said. "She wasn't sleeping as well, didn't seem to be eating anything but whipped cream and looked really weird."

It all came crashing down for the super star when paramedics rushed to Moore's Beverly Hills mansion and literally whisked her to a nearby hospital for assessment.

Moore's publicist declined to comment on the reports of whipping cream abuse, but remarked, "I think the issues of whipping cream addiction are very complicated matters. You never ever recover fully. You're always recovering," Lebovine said. "Stressors also exacerbates issues in people's whipped cream consumed lives."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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