Written by jd Balderdash

Friday, 17 February 2006

image for Mike Tyson Says He'll Kill Brad Pitt if Pitt Talks to Robin Givens Again In this Lifetime
Pitt's former girlfriend Robin Givens

(J ONLINE) -> Brad Pitt's former girlfriend Robin Givens, former WIFE of Heavy Weight Boxing Champion Mike Tyson was taken into protective custody by police after Tyson learned of Pitt's and Given's ongoing secret relationship and Tyson's threats to, quote, "Blow God Almighty Himself's hea off" if God Almighty Himself did not not deliver the head of Brad Pitt to Tyson's East LA doorstep by sundown.

"It gets complicated and a bit crazy from here" one LA detective said after unsuccessful attempts to locate Tyson successfully failed. Sources say that LA officials AND federal NSA agents now classify Mike Tyson not only as an Enemy Combatant but "off his rocker" as well after his "Kill God Almighty" remark. "Even God" according to televangelist Pat Robertson is not quite pleased with Tyson's "sundown" ultimatum.

With Aniston threatening to kill Jolie and Jolie threatening to kill Aniston and Tyson now threatening to kill EVERYBODY including the creator of the known universe tensions in California are at an all-time high.

Brad Pitt first met Robin Givens in 1986 during a shoot of her ABC TV series, "Head of the Class" where Pitt showed up in a guest role. Givens, who played a sultry young nerd that routinely caused all the male nerds to "Blow their pocket protectors" with but a smile apparently blew young Brad PITT's pocket protector as well. Into the inkwell, past the chalkboard way into the above and beyond.

That initial Pitt/Givens "puppy love" TV romance lasted but a few weeks until young virile Pitt discovered young virile Gwyneth Paltrow forcing young Pitt to regrettably DITCH young Robin Givens like a 3 day old bagel.

Unfortunately during Robin's "dark" post-PITT period following the loss of Pitt, Mike Tyson somehow magically appeared like Aladdin and convinced the heart-broken Givens that yes he, Tyson despite his reptilian good looks, his IQ of an Alabama bullfrog and his total lack of (Bond, James Bond) charm was INDEED a non-alien lifeform sent to bring hope, love and happiness to Givens. As long as she never looked at another man besides him again or he'd slay them all.

"Apparently Robin bought that line without even asking for a receipt" Dr Phil explained adding,

"This happens to women, especially when Brad Pitt dumps yet another girlfriend. We've even coined a phrase for it .. DBPS (Dumped-by-Pitt-Syndrome). We're already counseling Jennifer, hopefully Angelina won't need our services."

Robin Givens, also known to date Britney Spear's ex beau, Justin Timberlake says that she doesn't need the LA police protecting her from Mike Tyson. Givens according to inside sources told Timberlake,

"Brad might run away out but YOU'LL defend me against Mike, right Justin? "


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Police, Brad Pitt

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