Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 22 November 2011

image for Christina Aguilera Denies That She Is Pregnant And Blames Her Weight Gain On A Huge Craving For Hot Dogs
Ever since Aguilera messed up the words to "The National Anthem" she wears a flag pin somewhere on her clothes.

LOS ANGELES - Christina Aguilera did not forget the words as she sang and danced on the American Music Awards Show.

It is no secret that the singer has recently put on some extra pounds and Vodka Vermicelli of iRumors remarked that a ballpark figure is 17 pounds.

This year Christina has certainly had her ups and downs going back to Super Bowl XLV (45) where she messed up on the words to "The Star Spangled Banner" when she sang and the rockets blue glare instead of and the rockets red glare.

And instead of singing over the ramparts we watched she sang over the brick wall we viewed.

Some time after that while performing at the Grammy Awards she almost fell off the stage and then this past summer while performing at The Mashed Potatoes Arena in Boise, Idaho, she was into her fifth song before she realized that she had put her bra on backwards.

Aguilera sang on the AMA Show singing the song "Move Like Jagger" with Maroon 5. And she was dressed in a silver bandage dress that was so tight that the people in the first row could even make out the three moles located in her upper right thigh.

Miss Vermicelli said that Lady Aguilera, as Piers Morgan calls her, looked like a silver Coors Light Beer can without the labeling.

She added that as Christina jumped around the stage that those in the first three rows could actually hear her thighs slapping the hell out of each other.

Miss V managed to speak with ChrisAg backstage and she flat out asked her if her weight gain was due to the fact that he was expecting.

Aguilera, who will be 31 next month, giggled and said that she was not pregnant because she has made sure that her partners have used condoms.

She did confess that she owes her weight gain to the fact that she is basically addicted to hot dogs. She said that she first became addicted to hot dogs when she was dating a minor league baseball player who plays for the Duluth Doodlebugs.

When asked who the player was she refused to give his name.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: The players name is Skyler McScorpion and he is only 19.]

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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