Barry Manilow's face injures five fans

Funny story written by Big Stu

Saturday, 1 October 2011

image for Barry Manilow's face injures five fans
Coast Guard helicopter searches for fans blown into Lake Tahoe by the 'facial clap' shockwave

Legendary singer Barry Manilow was said to be deeply upset following an accident at his concert in Caesars Palace earlier today.

While straining to reach top D in a performance of his hit song 'Mandy', the supports holding Manilow's face are thought to have given way. The two overstretched folds of his cheeks then clapped together at high speed before whipping back and striking several audience members who were sitting in the front row.

Five people were injured in what leading cosmetic surgeons refer to as a 'facial tension-whiplash', or a 'doing a Streisand', after a similar incident that occurred in New York last year when three guests at a charity gala were injured during a performance of "Windmills of your pyoing...slap!".

Structural engineers have begun a full survey of the Caesars Palace ballroom following this latest incident, as it is feared the sonic boom generated by Manilow's facial clap has caused stress fractures in the building's ceiling.

Mr Manilow was unavailable for comment and has undergone emergency surgery to reattach the two folds behind his head. Distressed fans at the concern were given a full refund and have begun legal proceedings.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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