Written by Big Stu

Monday, 26 September 2011

image for Fukushima: The Musical
Celine Dion as seen rehersing for her role as a senile gibbering flatulent old sea-hag with no friends.

The disaster at Fukushima, that saw much of the East coast of Japan destroyed and millions left homeless, is to be dramatised in a new musical production it was announced today.

The all-star cast will include Justin Bieber as the forty-three year old head of safety at the Fukushima power plant, and Celine Dion who is to play the wailing toothless crone who prophesizes the wave and is flattened by a Toyota Prius that falls from the top of a bungalow in the final act.

Producer Lloyd Andrew Webber explained: "The role of Mrs Mikisawa is a challenging one. We needed someone who could play a senile gibbering flatulent old sea-hag with no friends and a voice like a chimp with a copy of Busty Chimps trying to pleasure itself and a rusty cheese grater. So naturally I thought of Celine."

The timing of this production has drawn great criticism and some have questioned whether the subject matter is too dark to be trivialised in this fashion. Bieber responded by stating that: "It won't be too dark, we're going to have the lights on."

Celine Dion was unavailable for comment owing to an unfortunate accident involving a Toyota Prius and a bungalow.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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