Activision Secures Rights to Bin Laden Death Helmet Cam Video

Funny story written by Ryan Inverso

Thursday, 5 May 2011


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In a highly controversial move, video game software giant Activision has secured the rights to the helmet cam video taken by Navy Seal operatives during the raid on Bin Laden. Activision is the software publisher responsible for the immensely popular Call of Duty series of video games for PC and consoles such as the Xbox 360 and the multi-hacked Playstation 3.

"We intend to use the footage frame by frame as a level in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3." said an Activision employee who wished to remain anonymous. "We have a reputation of realism, integrity, and good taste when it comes to the Call of Duty series, and we feel by including this level we will not only be upholding those standards, but giving due tribute to the brave soldiers who participated in the mission by letting 12 year olds with parents of questionable morals reenact it from their couches."

"Originally, the video was only supposed to be used internally as a live stream so President Obama and high ranking officials with the DOD could monitor the operation in real-time." announced Secretary of State Clinton in a press conference earlier today. "Once Activision came to us and explained how they planned to use the footage as an homage to our troops we couldn't think of any reason why we shouldn't turn this highly classified document over to them. We made them pinky swear that this idea was completely out of respect and tribute and not just a way to continue to sell millions and millions of copies of games."

When questioned about the possibility of young children being exposed to such a realistic and violent reenactment of a true life assassination, the Activision employee told us "We plan to put the exact same safeguards into the game that we did with the airport massacre level in Modern Warfare 2. We will give players the option to play the level or not. Before the game starts they will be prompted with the question: "Do you want to play with the most awesome level ever created in a video game even though it's really violent and realistic, or do you want to be a pussy and skip it and be ridiculed by all your friends because you actually listened to your parents?"

"We have faith the kids will make the right choice."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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