Hornby Train Sales Derailed By Winter Weather

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Tuesday, 25 January 2011

image for Hornby Train Sales Derailed By Winter Weather

Model train manufacturer Horny has warned that its profits will be below forecasts because of the bad weather before Christmas.

The much-loved company, which also owns model racing car system Scalextric and plastic model manufacturer Airfix, says sales were hit in the run-up to the crucial Christmas period.

A spokesman said: "It's not seriously bad news, but you can bet some people will want to make an issue of it.

"I mean, what do they expect? Even the real trains couldn't get around! How do they expect our little engines to get where they're supposed to be - that never makes the headlines, does it?

"You never hear 'Thousands of model trains held up as snow brings the rail network to a halt' do you. Oh no... it's all about the plight of the commuters. The cameras never come down to our depots and show our locos held up, just waiting to get moving.

"And it it takes us longer to get the infrastructure back to normal - our tracks don't have the same snow-clearing facilities as the national rail network.

"It's no good asking the staff to help - they're all made of plastic."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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