Written by matthatt

Tuesday, 12 October 2010

image for First baby Aston Martin to be born in captivity.
A combination of car parts.

The Cygnet, as a hatchling Aston Martin is known, is to be born at the Gaydon headquarters in Warwickshire, England.

The process has been a long and tiring one, allegedly due to how difficult it is to get two old lumbering Aston Martins to mate, not unlike Pandas.

"You can put a male and a female in the same pen, but it doesn't mean they will mate" said one of the keepers at the car birthing compound "After months of bored indifference, two giant Astons recently joined for not one, not two but three frenzied bouts of mating."

A few weeks ago, the researchers began to notice that the female Aston was starting to refuel less, become more active and drive through water, which suggested she was in heat.

In the mean time, the keepers had been showing car porn to the old male Aston in the hope of arousing some latent desire to copulate; old reruns of Top Gear were shown but with images of Jeremy Clarkson edited out, as it was thought that his grizzled grumpy fizzog would be the last thing you need to see when attempting some rumpy pumpy.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Cars




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