Nobody Expects the Spanish Preposition!

Written by P.M. Wortham

Tuesday, 20 April 2010

image for Nobody Expects the Spanish Preposition!
The Spanish Preposition in Action.

The decade of the "Con" is upon us. Ignore the Spanish translation meaning "with". We're not talking about Chili Con Carne' here, but rather something infinitely more evil and just as caustic to the bowels. The simple art of the financial Con. Nobody expects that Spanish preposition.

Enron, Bernie Madoff, Goldman Sachs and a pack of other scavengers lie in wait. Amongst their weaponry were such diverse elements as fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to money, and nice black suits! The purveyors of this black financial death, perform their tasks with a wink and a smile, whilst dipping into your pocket for your wallet, but not stopping until you have been rectally examined. "Ah, you've eaten broccoli for lunch!"

Local prosecutors stand at the ready with miniscule jail terms available at reasonable discount rates, so that major players in the Spanish Preposition can get out in time to enjoy some of that hard earned cash. But "Joe Six Pack" and "Theresa Two Kids" have had enough. A grass roots movement is underway to take the spirit of another Spanish word, this time a simple pronoun, to combat the Spanish Preposition. For the financially raped masses, the new watch word is "Yo".

From New Jersey Shipyards to the urban streets of Oakland and all points in between, the masses are rising up and seeking retribution. Yo, its all about the Yo. Recently acquitted Wall Street bankers were met by a crowd of disgruntled bridge and dock workers in New York, where their demands were quite eloquently and simply stated. "Yo, open up your checkbook and start writin' or 'dis little piggy on your left foot, won't be going home". In Detroit, St. Louis, Oakland, and Chicago, the investment banker urban confrontation stories were similar. "Yo, yo, yo, where you think you're going in that fine S500? Get your ass out here and start finding the money to our pension funds. Yo, while you're at it, toss me them keys to your janke hooptie".

No one expects to be conned, but the public is apparently ready to fight back. The money went somewhere. The new omnipotent church of almighty Dollar, Euro, and Yuan, and their Spanish Preposition days have come to an end. Trust in the current financial system has ended, but new hope lies on the horizon. Started by a group of working class mooks and trustworthy degenerates, a new financial investment house is open for safe and insured retirement savings. Safely investing in commodities like Spam, Albatross and Shrubberies, Monty Python Securities is breaking new ground as a small independent investment house. Attracting thousands of new accounts daily, success seems to be assured but investors are already comfortable with the safety and security of their funds. "Monty Python Securities. When you're ready for something completely different".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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