The credit crunch has put paid to developments all around the World and London is no exception - the Leadenhall 'Cheesegrater' and the KFC Hackney Observation Tower being the most famous examples of the halt in progression.
It has now come to light through an anonymous womble at City of London Council that this lack of 'big' projects is a serious concern for the city:
"The Planning department are particularly worried at the moment", my source revealed. "No amount of semi-detached conservatory requests or applications to put a satellite dish on a garden shed can match the excitement of earning massive fees for allowing the sort pseudo-phallus we were giving the go-ahead to only three years ago. We have even allowed a super-duper big tower to be built out of rusty scrap metal for the Olympics in 2012, such is our desperation".
It is feared that unless more developments take place soon, there is a chance that somewhere like Berlin might win the pointless building race ongoing in Europe by having four more blocks of unnecessary apartments and a skyscraper that is nearly five storeys taller than anything in England.
The only silver lining in this debacle is that fact that the empty building sites currently to be found in and around London is equivalent to only a quarter of the size of the black holes which currently fills the centre of some Eastern European cities.
When asked if the City Council would consider concentrating on the projects that may improve the infrastructure of the city, our source would only say "No. Big towers are our favourites and anyway, who needs proper houses, schools or improved transport? Some dirty northerners tried that in Manchester and all they got out of it was a poxy tram to get them to Bury market for their yucky black puddings".
