Bull shortage hits world economy

Funny story written by Danto

Wednesday, 7 July 2004

image for Bull shortage hits world economy
An exhausted bull

A shortage of bulls has affected the world economy, a leading economist has stated.

Shishir Bhate, a consultant with the World Bank's India office, stated in New Delhi, a day before the presentation of the federal Indian Budget, that most economies desperately needed more bulls.

Trading on Wall Street came to a halt for 10 minutes after his statement was released to the world media. The Wall Street Journal featured his statement prominently on Page 45, which led to stocks of major trading firms to crash by 0.11 points.

Bhate said that butchers in India slaughtered millions of bulls each day to cater to meat lovers, which he felt was unfortunate.

McDonalds immediately came out with a statement asserting that it did not use beef in any of its products. The clarification saw its stocks rise by 0.11 points on the world markets.

The stock markets had advertised for bulls, but the animals seem to have missed the advertisement in international dailies.

‘The advertisement failed to hit the bulls eye,' an advertising executive with Lowe Advertising stated.

Bhate said Spain was also drawing many bulls for its famous bullfights. Spain has stubbornly refused to divert its bulls to the stock markets, for a bull run.

Nandita Malik, an economist with the rival India Bank World Office retorted, ‘Talk of a bull shortage affecting the world economy is all bull. We have to grin and bear with it.'

Aslam Hunani, a Dubai-based dealer in top international stocks, however, claimed that the world economy was not witnessing a bull run simply because the bulls were tired.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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