Jelly Services Architect Shown the Door

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Tuesday, 23 December 2008

image for Jelly Services Architect Shown the Door
The Geek Has Left the Building

After three short years of helping to architect big ugly software solutions to what were perceived to be simple little business problems, Skippy Winklestein, technical staff geek and architect at Jelly Services, will abide by his final 'separation agreement', and pack his pocket protectors up for good on 12/29.

Given the boot initially in July by the same folks who hired him, Winklestein was forced to make plans to further his employment with different but similarly named companies like KB Lube Services in California, Syrup Slither Services in North Carolina, and Slip Joint Energy Services in Wisconsin. While searching for new employment and paralleled by a rare twist of retributory fate, most of the same folks responsible for voting Winklestein off the proverbial corporate island, were shown the door themselves. Winklestein however, was offered a reprieve from the axe by two friendly corporate dudes, (Botterman and Luftnasa), who appreciated his background and wanted to borrow his pocket protector. The reprieve and his funding were temporary however, and Winklestein had to sign another termination agreement at the end of the year, in the hopes of a brighter, or at least a semi-murky future in 2009.

By the time Botterman and Luftnasa found more funding for the fanatical, fairly funny, and questionably functional architect, Winklestein had been forced to commit to the offer from the land of cheese. So with mixed emotions, a half eaten can of mixed nuts, and a commercial blender for mixing margaritas all stuffed into an empty toner cartridge box, Winklestein did in fact let the door finally hit him in the ass on the way out.

Insiders report that Winklestein is already packing up his egg-shaped, car-topper storage bin and stuffing the hatchback of his '74 Gremlin in preparation for the trip around the lake and north to Milwaukee. He was heard to declare with confidence as he pulled away, "Hey. Change is good. I think. But only when I have to. I guess."

Slip Joint Energy Services embraces the new architect-dude in January. There was no word if Winklestein had located a greasy coney island near his new office. "I hope I find one", Winklestein said. "I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I couldn't get a couple of loose coney burgers and a side of chili cheese fries, followed by a couple of Gas-X tablets for dessert of course."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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