Residents of the Closer To Thee Assisted Living and Convalescents Center in Chapel Hill were reported recovering this morning after gathering last night at the center's clubhouse to stay warm and bring in the New Year.
Residents were witnessed at the bar during last night's festivities taking shots of castor oil and Kaopectate and telling WWII combat stories. Many residents were said to have prepared themselves for the evening by taking long naps, looking over their wills and wearing an extra pair of Depends.
Anne T. Diluvian, the convalescent center's executive director, said that last night's festivities were a big success and went off without a hitch.
"One man opened the janitor's closet thinking that it was the elevator and locked himself inside, but that was about it," she said.
Festivities at the convalescents center began at 5 as the Big Band sound of the Carolina Jazz Band cranked up and went on until 9 when no one was left standing. Dinner was served promptly at 6 and at the 9 o'clock bewitching hour, residents, in anticipation of watching the tablet of Alka-Seltzer drop, were witnessed kissing each other and giving one another hugs.
One man got so carried away with kissing that his dentures fell out of his mouth and dropped into the cleavage of one woman.
Diluvian said that staff considered moving the clocks three hours forward to give a more realistic appearance that it was midnight at 9 o'clock, but decided against the measure since it might cause greater havoc and throw everyone off their med schedules.
