Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling has today revealed details of his latest dealings with an oil company based in Nigeria.
Apperently, a chap named Umbongo Messembula had ordered some parts for a new rig off the Eastern coast of Nigeria, and the rigging company had accidentally sent two lots, one of which Umbongo sold on the quiet to the Government of Nigeria for the sum of 25m USD.
The money was in a bank account in the National Bank of Ghana, and Umberto needed someone to help get the money out of the country.
So he sent an email to Darling, asking for help.
Alistair, in his new role as Chancellor, thought it was a good quick deal, and sent Umbongo enough taxpayer's money to get the lawyers and the money transfer certificate paid for, at a cost of £1.5m, and is expecting a cheque any day now for $24m USD. He was said to be "delighted and excited" to be working with influential people in the African market.
The Boss Gordon Brown popped his balloon when he exposed the deal as a "419" advance fee fraud, commonly tried on gullible members of the internet.
In a later interview, Mr. Brown said, "Should have known, really. The pillock doesn't have a geography "O" level, and should have noticed that Nigeria doesn't have an East coast. What a prat."
Alistair Darling was reported to be on a flight to Nigeria with a small suitcase full of money, to get the parts of the oil rig instead.
