There was a bit of a kerfuffle in the world of retail yesterday when it was announced that Ikea would be actually starting to sell some decent furniture at last.
Marketing Director Sven Deboatcomesin said:
"We have decided to start selling furniture that looks a bit different to all that pale pine stuff on little spindly metal legs. People in Britain want something a bit more substantial and we are going to give it to them"
Top TV fop and regency dandy, Laurence Givede Dogabone, comments:
"Hooray finally some decent stuff. What about something like that nice DFS gear? Lovely! Or even a bit of the kind of thing they do at MFI? And what's more, there's always a sale on in both of those. Now that's what I call a good deal"
He then brushed some dust off his immaculately starched cuffs, tossed his flowing locks and legged it.
The Spoof can reveal that the main draw for Ikea shoppers is not in fact the furniture at all but the Swedish meatballs with loganberry jus that they do in their restaurant. Mmmmmm!
That lad off the Antiques Roadshow said:
"I can't say much as I may have an endorsement deal coming up so I'm keeping schtum if you don't mind. Pass me another few meatballs son"