The Michael Richards controversy ("Kramer" may be sued by offended hecklers) illustrates what savvy attorneys have known for some time. In the hunt for clients, going clubbing is so much more profitable and fun than chasing down ambulances. It could even be tax deductible. A triple whammy!
Barry Barelylegal, an attorney for 20 years, highly recommends it to his legal colleagues. He cheerfully points out that since nightclubs are filled with drunken people making fools of themselves, they are "perfect breeding grounds for lawsuits."
Barry reports that, in addition to heckling incidents and drunken brawls, there are countless other situations that may provide attorney windfalls. Here are three examples:
- A potential client could be sitting in the audience just minding his own business when disaster strikes. Here's the scene. A celebrity takes the stage to lip sync a few tunes from her latest CD but instead throws up -- as Paris Hilton did recently in Vegas. Even if one is not directly in the line of 'fire,' severe emotional damage COULD be suffered.
- Catfights can break out at any moment. Wayward spiked heels and nails like tiger claws can cause massive amounts of damage to tender skin. (The more skin exposed, chances are the value of the lawsuit will be higher.)
- A famous celebrity (Britney Spears, for example) in Vegas could take someone off to The Little White Chapel, marry them, then dump that someone before the ink on the marriage license is dry. Post-mini-marriage stress syndrome can be extremely severe.
- When stock analyst Rich Riskfree heard his friend Barry assess the potential dangers that exist at nightclubs, he made an important decision. He decided to play it safe and avoid nightclubs completely, doing his socializing at tea dances and church socials.
BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: Things didn't work out as planned for Rich Riskfree. He went to a tea dance and spilled boiling water in his lap. After a month's recovery, he went to a church social, fell down the stairs, and broke his leg. Once he can walk again, he's heading out to the nearest nightclub. "After what I've been through, how risky could it be?" he's asked friends.
