Harley Davidson Announces New Model - "The Compensator"

Written by Moose

Friday, 4 October 2013

image for Harley Davidson Announces New Model - "The Compensator"

MILWAUKEE, WI - Harley Davidson announced the upcoming release of their newest model today, the "Compensator".

In a press release issued today, company spokesman Biff Wellington announced the new motorcycle and listed some of its unique features.

The new bike will have a 3200cc engine, producing 237 horsepower and 267 ft./pounds of torque. An automatic transmission will be the only available gearbox, but a dummy shift lever and clutch will allow the rider to act like he's manually shifting.

The motorcycle will be equipped with Harley Davidson's patented "Aggravator" system, that amplifies exhaust sound with mechanical and electrical amplification. Mr. Wellington stated that the exhaust will produce 139 decibels at idle and 183 decibels at wide-open-throttle.

The new motorcycle is also equipped with tiny brake and clutch levers, to accommodate the small hands of their prime demographic.

Ford Motor Company has issued a statement, saying that they will be producing a Harley Davidson Compensator themed F150 pickup truck. The truck will come with a standard booster seat for the driver and blocks on the brake and accelerator to accommodate the driver. It will also utilize Harley's "Aggravator" technology to enhance the exhaust sound. The truck will be fitted with 43 inch tires and an electrical lift to assist the driver to the seat.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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