Coffee with Mussolini?

Funny story written by Big Stu

Tuesday, 4 October 2011

image for Coffee with Mussolini?
Coffee with Il Duce and guess who's paying?

Former dictator Benito Amilcare Mussolini, who ruled the country before being deposed in a coup in 1943, is to become the new vice-chairperson of coffee-house chain Stabrucks, it was revealed today.

In a leaked document the fascist dictator, believed to have been executed by partisans in 1945, was involved in secret negotiations with the group following the opening of several Stabrucks coffee-houses in Milan two years ago. The new Il Duce of what is to be renamed Il Nationali di Stabrukko Milano has told reporters: "Reports of my execution, public gibbeting and subsequent cremation were greatly exaggerated. I look forward to become Il Duce of Stabrucks and cannot wait to start banning anyone that I don't like the look of."

Mussolini refused to comment on reports that he intends to bring in a uniform of black shirts for all staff, or on his policy of making all left-wing ideals offences punishable by disembowelment with stale buns.

Mussolini is not the first famous dictator to have used their infamy to gain senior positions in multi-national corporations. Last year Ugandan dicator Idi Amin was appointed acting CEO of Burger King and, six months before, it was the turn of Francois "Papa Doc" Duvalier of Haiti who became the vice chairperson of McDonalds following a protracted takeover bid.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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