The Milkybar Kid sweeps to Ukrainian Presidency win
Chicken Kiev, Ukraine - A former child actor who played the Milkybar Kid on Ukrainian TV ads circa 1969 has been elected the country's new President this weekend. 'Candy King' Petro Poroshenko wooed voters with a 'free pair of Snickers for every...
Read full storyWomen To Become More Promiscuous Following US Gun Shooting
New proposals by the US Congress are set to reduce laws that discriminate against women that engage in slutty behaviour. The laws are set to pass following the gruesome shooting by Elliot Rodger, a 22 year old virgin that could just never get round t...
Read full storyCalifornia Considers Move to Ban 'Blonde Sluts' After Man Goes on Rampage Because He Never Got Any
Isla Vista, CA - A delusional, 22 year-old man went on a premeditated killing spree Friday night in an attempt to get "retribution", as he stated it, for the slight he felt humanity had given him. His hatred focused on one creature in particular:...
Read full story"'UK' Amazon Kindle Replacing School Library Books" - Gove
Every school library in the country is currently being torn to shreds and replaced with thousands of Amazon Kindles that can only access books written by British authors. The wet dream of both Amazon and Michael Gove has become a reality as workme...
Read full storyNew Law Protects Jay Z and Beyoncé
Free speech is to take a back seat as stating something unpleasant or publishing a negative comment about shit-hot super-couple Jay-Z and Beyoncé is to become a criminal offence. Due to the incident surrounding Beyoncé's sister Solange, the couple...
Read full storySchool Being Sued By Parents Of 'Wild Teenager Gone Good'
Parents of 15-year-old Katie Smeilding are currently suing their daughter's high school for turning her into a person they no longer recognise; one that is respectful, polite and willing to learn. Katie Smielding has had behavioural issues and a s...
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