Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Jaggedone.
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Showing page 37 (of 72 pages)
Jealous UK woman throws bucket of cold water at a "hot pussy"!
A jealous UK woman who was convinced her hubby was offering his choco bar (West Indian origin) to some white pussy, threw a bucket of freezing cold water at it; pussies hate cold water!
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Pakistan bowlers hope there's not too many "full tossers"in prison!
The 2 imprisoned Pakistan bowlers convicted of bowling "no-balls" will be hoping that they are not on the receiving end of too many "fast balls" and "full tossers" thrown at them in the showers!
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Japanese restaurant proves that if you pay peanuts you get monkeys!
A Japanese restaurant owner has proven to the world that if you pay peanuts, you get monkeys, literally! He has 2 of them serving in his establishment and he's doing plenty of "monkey business!"
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Gay alien has sex with Men in Black!
An Alien spotted in the Amazon jungle was definitely gay because The Men in Black claim to have had a sex orgy with him and his mates. Hollywood are filming the story called; Deliverance Mark II
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"There are more than 7 billion of us" claim global tramps!
Tramps living under bridges are to protest and occupy global cities because they claim that there are more than 7 billion people on the planet; the UN forgot to count them!
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Indian head-bangers wearing turbans cause riot before Metallica concert!
Metallica had to call off their Delhi concert because head-bangers wearing turbans were asked to remove them because flying turbans at a metal concert are a dangerous hazard. This provoked race riots!
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Bunga, bunga babe beds Balotelli!
One of Berlusconi's bunga, bunga babes called Raffaella is now bedding Balotelli. She claims it was his mohican hairstyle that did the trick not his large feet (or inches)!
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Slumdog millionaire becomes reality!
A real slumdog millionaire has just won India's version of "Who want's to be a millionaire"! He has promised to spend his money on a good cause; Get the fuck out of there!
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Chinese ordered not to watch entertaining TV!
The Chinese government has ordered its people not to watch entertaining TV, instead live films of Giant Panda bears mating will be shown, much more natural, but it could cause a baby boom!
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Floods threaten Bangkok red light area!
Floods are threatening Bangkok's red light district, sex tourists were last seen swimming on their back trying to keep their nuts dry.
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EU debt crisis is over, Greece has disappeared!
The EU debt crisis has been resolved, Greece has suddenly disappeared, it's now called Atlantis!
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Amy Winehouse was never dry, in fact she drowned in it!
A London coroner has confirmed the fact that Amy Winehouse drowned in her own drink and the only time she was really dry was after towelling down after a swim in the bath.
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Honeybees hijack truck in Utah!
20 million escaped honeybees have hijacked the truck they were being transported in. It was last seen flying over a local forest surrounded by a massive black, swarming cloud! And then it disappeared!
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Golliwog hanging in window causes race riots!
Suffolk, UK: A Golliwog hanging in a window has caused race riots in the area. The owner is an innocent Black & White Minstrel fan, but young coloured Brits thought she was a racist, the police too!
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Germany and Israel attack the planet from outer space!
Germany & Israel have been planning WWIII above our heads with their scrap satellites. The first of many attacks landed yesterday in the Indian ocean, luckily there was nodody fishing there!
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Noisy neighbours crash party in Manchester
United's noisy neighbours crashed the party today and turned the city blue after thumping Man Utd, deservedly. Even Balotelli stopped sucking his thumb today and proved he's more than a sucker!
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Alien filmed in Amazon jungle is Michael Jackson's ghost!
After being filmed by 2 Brits who were high on the local cocktail, cachaca, it seems that the alien was certainly Michael Jackson's ghost. He was filmed moonwalking and whistling Billie Jean!
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Man City have secret weapon for Sunday's Manchester derby!
Man City have a secret weapon for Sunday. Aquero and Da Silva will be substitued for Balotelli and Tevez, they will all refuse, cause mass confusion! While nobody's looking, pop in the winning goal
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Colonel Gaddafi is dead; so what!
They've got him at last, Gadaffi, he's dead, so what!
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English bank tells it's customers to "f++k off!"
A well known Brit bank has replied to all of it's customers asking for credit with the following statement; FUCK OFF!
Tight times require tight bastards!
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Man Utd take bunches of garlic and silver bullets to Romania!
Man Utd left for Romania packed full with bunches of garlic and silver bullets. It seems their unknown opponents are driven by "Dark Forces" and their chairman is Count Dracula!
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Mubarak sons own Swiss millions and Rolls too!
Ex President Mubarek's sons own millions in a Swiss bank, they also have their fair share of Swiss Rolls too (?) Poor Egyptians.
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100 year old man completes marathon and drops dead!
A 100 year old man successfully completed the marathon then he dropped dead proving that sport is really deadly!
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L'Oreal heiress is too loony to count her fortune!
L'Oreal heiress has been declared insane by her children because she couldn't count her fortune any more, but they certainly can!
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Showing page 37 (of 72 pages)
