Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Jaggedone.
Show all snippets.
Showing page 35 (of 72 pages)
Silicone saves babe with world's largest boobs!
Sheyla H. The babe with gigantic boobs claimed they saved her life once. Top heavy Sheyla fell over and her boobs got in the way of a stiff pointed object which could have got stuck in her throat!
written by unknown
Russia threatens to "nuke" Europe if the US build a Disney Park in Poland!
The Russian President has threatened to nuke Europe if the US build a Disney Park in Poland. Then Obama threatened to nuke Iran in return. Russia bottled because Iran is a Mickey Mouse ally!
written by unknown
Man Utd get stung by Portugese man o war!
Man Utd swimming in dangerous seas got severely stung by a team of Portugese Man of Wars last night. Now they must shoot even more holes in a block of Swiss cheese. They've got a toblerone to climb!
written by unknown
Jesus banned by Pakistan Telecoms whilst texting!
Pakistan Telecoms have drawn up a list of banned words for texters and "Jesus" is at the top of the list followed closely by India and Indians. Fuck You has also been banned, I wonder why?
written by unknown
US hackers attack water system, they were thirsty!
US computer hackers have hacked into a water system which supplies water to millions and diverted the water to the Arizona desert where they live and hack; they were filthy and thirsty!
written by unknown
Tommy Cooper seen escaping out of Cairo!
During the clashes in Cairo a strange figure was seen running for his life, Tommy Cooper. The only thing that saved him from a deadly stone attack was his Fez; "just like that!"
written by unknown
Porn sites sue internet regulator because of the X factor!
Several major porn sites are suing the internet regulator because they have introduced the X factor. The porn sites are demanding the XXXXX factor, spunky!
written by unknown
UK severs ties with Iran and Allah gets very angry!
The UK has severed ties with Iran because of their nuclear interests. This in turn upset Allah because he enjoys a cup of Earl Grey now and then!
written by unknown
Russian PM booed at sports event; Siberia here they come!
Russian PM Putin was booed at a sports event and those who booed him are now running the marathon in Siberia barefoot, naked and f++k++G freezing!
written by unknown
World's cheapest car gets revamp: oil lamps!
The world's cheapest car has just undergone an expensive revamp: They've installed oil lamps because nobody wants to be seen dead driving it in daylight!
written by unknown
World debt so heavy that countries are beginning to subside!
The global debts reached by our major economies is so heavy that thety are sucking countries down below the water line. The White House is being turned into Noah's Ark just in case!
written by unknown
God is a Man United fan!
Since 1958 God has been Man United fan, sure! God sent Mon Dieu, he appointed Sir Alex and now they have Chicharito on his knees. They play crap and always win 1-0. A Holy Intervention, surely!
written by unknown
Man United sign 5 year-old super dog!
Man Utd have made an historical signing, a 5 year-old super dog who performs magic with a ball. Utd really wanted to sign a 5 year-old boy, but thought this is madness, a super dog is more realistic!
written by unknown
Benetton prove they are not homophobics!
In their latest shock ad campaign Benetton proved that they are not homophobic by depicting male world leaders snogging each other; Angie Merkel protested vehemently and feels discriminated against!
written by unknown
Porno hackers infiltrate Facebook, spunky!
Porno hackers have shocked the Facebook community by hacking into their pages! Pictures of buxom horny babes sucking on dude's huge ding-dongs smothered the pages; At last a bit of excitement there!
written by unknown
Occupy NY is over and the local rodents are very happy!
The NY police have swept away the Occupy Wall St protestors paving the way for the fat rats to get fatter and their four legged cousins to scavenge the discarded scraps left behind.
written by unknown
Justin Timberlake joins the US Marines!
Justin Timberlake decided to join the US Marines, womens brigade, but was rejected because he wasn't "hard enough"!
written by unknown
Stoned Dutch woman breaks nose after slamming into her wardrobe door!
A ver stoned Dutch woman was rushed to hospital after breaking her nose today. She was so high she didn't notice that her wardrobe door was open; When asked if it hurt she replied, "way out man!"
written by unknown
Brazilian police take over largest slum in Rio!
Brazilian police have taken over a huge slum in Rio because FIFA demanded that they clean the place up before the World Cup in 2014. The take over was financed by C+ca C+la, McD+++lds, N+ke etc!
written by unknown
Irish off to Euro's, but they haven't got any!
The Irish footie team look set to qualify for the Euro's, but they have one problem, they haven't got any Euro's left in the bank. Maybe a leprechaun will lend them some!
written by unknown
Kabul, Afghanistan; life is now better since the Taliban left!
In an astonishing declaration the Afghani president has admitted that life is now better since the Taliban left; He would say that wouldn't he. McDonalds also thought life was better there too!
written by unknown
Italy forms new government, the Mafia have been asked!
Berlusconi's corrupt government has failed so Italy have asked the Mafia to replace them; at least heir honest with their dishonesty!
written by unknown
95 year-old granny "brains" burglar with her brolly!
A 95 year-old granny from Braintree "brained" a burglar with her brolly. He was escorted out by the police and released with a warning. The granny was found guilty of GBH: Brainless Britain!
written by unknown
England beat Spain with their only touch of the ball!
England beat Spain last night and only touched the ball once and that was enough. The England players were so dizzy running after the ball they were given sea-sickness tablets at half time!
written by unknown
Showing page 35 (of 72 pages)
