Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Jaggedone.
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Showing page 34 (of 72 pages)
Canadian gay penguin goes straight!
A staunch gay penguin couple in Toronto zoo has split up because one of them, Buddy, has decided to enjoy some penguin pussy. His mate has also decided to go straight; there's hope yet!
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Obama shows goodwill at Christmas to Iran, he has too!
Obama is begging Iran to send back one of his fav toys, a drone, because it wasn't meant for Iran, it was meant for North Korea, but it just happened to be flying over their airspace, Jesus!
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David Cameron divorces Nick Clegg!
The messiest divorce of the century is about to happen, Cameron has divorced Clegg because he's having an affair with that "dirty nationalist slut" the other Nick, Griffin and his "Union Jack"!
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Sir Alex Ferguson joins David Cameron in "Exit Europe Campaign"!
Man United have joined the Conservatives in their "Exit Europe Campaign". Cameron personally thanked Sir Alex for his solidarity in the crap show against Basel. Sir Alex replied "dankerschoen"!
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Chicharito teaches Rooney how to drop on his knees and pray!
Before Rooney's UEFA hearing he et Chicho have been practicing praying whilst on their knees. Wayne will do anything to get his ban reduced and now he knows how to beg for mercy religiously, AMEN!
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Mafia boss found in Hitler bunker!
After 16 years on the run mafia boss Michele Z has been found in Hitler's bunker in Naples the police asked him why there, he answered, 'it was a gas'!
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Liverpool FC's Luis Suarez waves to his fans with his middle finger!
Liverpool's jubilant very good loser, Luis Suarez, showed his appreciation to his fans by sticking his middle finger up whilst waving goodbye and smiling, what a muy bien futbolista he is, si, si!
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God lives in a massive black-hole!
US scientists have discovered God living in a massive black-hole in galaxy NC4889. It took them slightly longer to find God than Bin Laden, thank god!
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Brit supermarkets are "Scrooges"!
Brit supermarkets have been caught nicking from their punters in the run up to Christmas. 1/2 price deals on offer are not because they hiked the prices up a 100% first! Scrooge turned in his grave!
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Japanese luxury car pile-up led by Jeremy Clarkson!
British diplomat, Jeremy Clarkson, was leading a convoy of Ferraris to Hiroshima when a pile up happened. Jeremy gave his opinion about the driver who caused it, here his answer; "shoot the bastard!"
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Rooney in world XI, he's allowed to lick Messi's boots!
Wayne Rooney has been selected as a ball boy for a World XI, one of his jobs is to lick Lionel Messi's boots, the other is to wash Ronaldo's underwear! Rooney is over the moon at the honour!
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Meryl Streep depicts Thatcher as a demented old bag; Jackpot!
Meryl Streep in her role as Margaret Thatcher has been criticized for portraying her as a demented old bag. And that was when she was in power!
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UK banks told to tighten their belts!
English banks have had a warning from the Bank of England director, he has told them to "tighten their belts". Bank directors have given themselves an extra multi-million bonus just in case!
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Brits quitting Australia for Britain; the weather is depressive!
Ex-pat Brits living in Australia are returning in their droves they say the weather is too depressing; blue sky, sunshine, warm water, etc. Let's get back to Blighty for a good old fashion storm!
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Strauss-Kahn say's hotel sex was stupid, so did the maid!
Strauss-Kahn accused of raping a hotel maid said that hotel sex is stupid. The maid also said it was stupid because he had a "hard" time finding the broom cupboard!
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Sarkozy demands new European borders!
Sarkozy and Merkel are demanding new European borders. The new borders are between the French and German borders, anybody entering needs a visa!
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Jeremy Clarkson shoots Union leader!
Top Gear moron, Jeremy Clarkson, has shot a union leader outside the Jaguar factory in Solihull. The reason; he dared to look inside of Jeremy's spanking new Jag, socialist bastard!
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Noddy & Big Ears accused of racist behaviour!
Whilst travelling on the Underground with their mate, Gollywog, a passenger overheard Noddy calling Gollywog a Gollywog, his name. Noddy & Big Ears have been arrested and John Terry is most upset!
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BNP send female racists down to the London Underground!d
The BNP's latest propaganda machine is running as smooth as the London Underground because that's where they're doing it!
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Iranian hooligans storm UK Embassy in Teheran, how dare they!
The UK Embassy in Teheran has been stormed by a bunch of Iranian hooligans dressed as students. They were searching for a decent cuppa tea because Iranian tea stinks and is full of neutrons!
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Norway mass-murderer declared a "loony"; what a surprise!
Norway Nazi mass-murderer, Anders Behring Breivik, has officially been declared a total loony. Mass-murderers normally are not quite sane or are they?
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NHS feed patients with "lethally" expensive Asian foods!
NHS are investing millions by importing their food from Asia. It is a deadly expensive project, but in the long-run lethally cheap. The quicker the patients are poisoned the quicker they're out!
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2 obese female serial killers crush their victims to death!
Ramsbottom, Lancashire: 2 very obese ladies have been found guilty of a series of occult murders. After a night of hot fatty bacon sex they would crush their male, skinny victims to death, OUCH!
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Brit Fireman Matt get's burnt off by his 2 fat ladies!
Brit Fireman Matt has been burnt off by his 2 fat ladies because he was burning his candle in both ends. Now they're lesbians and he burns himself off watching them; it's called a fat, free fry up!
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Showing page 34 (of 72 pages)
