Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Jaggedone.
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Showing page 33 (of 72 pages)
Florence Nightingale employed by Man United!
In an effort to halt the injuries at Man Utd's lazarett Fergie has employed Florence Nighingale! Her skeleton is to stand in the lazarett at Utd and the players only have to rub her lamp, Genie-us!
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Nike Air Jordan shoes cause US riots!
Nike have released their latest Air Jordan shoe and it has caused stampedes and riots all over the country proving that Air Jordan's only work when Michael is wearing them; he could really fly!
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Queen visits Prince Philip in hospital, he forgot his toy duck!
The Queen has visited Phlip in hospital because he refuses to bathe without his fav toy duck called "Diana the Duck"!
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Pakistan decide to ignore Christmas, they prefer suicide bombings!
Pakistan have decided to ignore the festive period because they prefer suicide bombings; never boring and much more explosive!
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Thousands flock to Bethlehem to see Jesus!
Thousand of Christians are flocking to Bethlehem to see Jesus; his mum and dad decided to book a package holiday to Ibiza to avoid the rush!
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Christmas "Mutiny on the Spoof" as writers jump ship!
HMS Spoof is now empty after a Christmas mutiny with most writers jumping ship. Captain Mark Horatio-Hornblower (not in a gay way) was made to walk the plank and the awaiting sharks left him legless!
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Thieves nick Trafalgar Square Christmas tree!
In an astonishing act of national desecration thieves have nicked the Trafalgar Square christmas tree, it was last seen being used as firewood behind a M25 layby. Illegals have to keep warm too!
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Russia ask Mongolia advice about how to launch rockets!
After another space disaster Russia have asked Mongolia to help them with the problem, a 103 year-old Mongolian scientific monk told them, "point the thing skywards, it helps!"
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New Zealand get rocked into Christmas by an earthquake!
New Zealand have been visited by another earthquake ensuring them of a "rock and roll" Christmas
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Syria promise their people a "bomb" of a Christmas
The Syrian government refuse to stand down and have promised their people a "bomb" of a Christmas; the first one went off killing 40 people! Did Jesus ever walk into Syria?
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US navy's first public gay kiss!
The US navy have allowed 2 lesbians to kiss in public. The lesbians became lesbians because all the men on their ship were homo's!
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US admit air strike mistakes!
The US have admitted to air strike mistakes over Pakistan killing innocents. The pilots were ordered to target everybody wearing a turban, it could have been Bin Laden!
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Man arrested for playing Madonna song!
A man has been arrested for playing a Madonna song too early. He has been declared insane and locked away (who the hell would want to listen to ageing Madge songs apart from lunatics?).
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Dutch goalie kicks fan!
A Dutch goalie was given a red card for kicking a hooligan, the hooligan ended up getting red-balls, ouch!
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Twins born with two heads have double vision!
Siamese twins born with two heads will certainly be seeing everything double.
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Family adopts polar bear, it sleeps in the bath!
A Danish family has adopted a baby polar bear and it is sleeping in a bath full of icy water just to make it feel at home!
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What really caused the eurozone crisis?
Corruption maybe?
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Al Jolson headlines Liverpool FC Christmas bash!
In a final attempt to prove to the world that Luis Suarez and Liverpool FC are not racists they have hired Al Jolson to sing at their Chrissy bash. The Black and White Minstrels are his backing band!
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Obama receives huge slice of Turkey as a Christmas present!
Iraq have mistakingly sent Obama a huge slice of Turkey instead of giving it to the Kurds. Charitable Obama gave his slice to the poor in the US because thay can't afford the air ticket anyway!
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Mao Tse Tung takes over North Korea!
Kim Jong-il is dead and North Koreans rejoicing the fact have been slaughtered. A reincarnated Mao Tse Tung will now lead North Korea into a peoples revolution and then sell it to capitalist China
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Father Christmas commits suicide!
Santa has jumped off of the Forth bridge and committed suicide. The reason was that children only receive hi-tec gadgets, never smile and spend their lives texting and pinging, Merry Xmas, ho, ho, ho!
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India claim they have the smallest things on the planet including women and condoms!
India has a huge population, is a huge country, but as far as it's women and male genitalia go, they're pretty meniscule. Nevermind they're huge in the kamasutra!
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Ricky Gervais is told off by Jesus!
Ricky Gervais has claimed that Jesus visited him via the internet and told him off for saying that only starved children are allowed in heaven. Atheist Ricky told Jesus to "F off" Good God!
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Indonesian police shave punks hair of Mohican style!
As a punishment for anti-social behaviour the Indonesian police have shaven the hair off of many incarcerated punks Mohican-style; they loved it, Oi!!!
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Showing page 33 (of 72 pages)
