Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Jaggedone.
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Showing page 29 (of 72 pages)
Abramovich has sacked more managers than Villas-Boas had posh hot dinners!
Another head has rolled into the basket of Tsar Rasputin Roman; Andre V-Boas is now headless and didn't even have time to enjoy more posh hot dinners than Roman's list of sacked managers!
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Ex Smith Morrissey is as "common as muck!"
Morrissey, second rate pop singer has claimed that The Falklands are Argentinian. He was touring Argentina at the time. Falklands vet's can't wait until he returns home, they'll blow him away!
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Dutch master Robben paints Wembley "Oranje"!
Tiny Holland, bristling with Dutch masters, produced a show of artistic beauty, especially Mijnheer Robben. Even when they fell asleep he created a master stroke that brushed the English away!
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To matter or anti-matter that is the question?
Shakespeare should have rephrased his famous line and it should have read, "to matter or anti-matter that is the question?" It would have saved millions of US tax payers money!
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US gay sailors kiss after re-union in public!
A gay US sailor met his boyfriend at the quay and they had a snog in public. Maybe they could have done it privately? But no, they had to show the world how "normal" it is; sorry, I've just puked!
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England v Holland tomorrow and the wife moved out!
England v Holland tomorrow and all ex-pats with Dutch wives should lock them up in their bedroom and fill them up with pot; mine's moving out!
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UN declare parts of UK no-go drug ganglands!
Parts of the UK are in the hands of vicious drug-gangs declared the UN. In fact the UN thought that Moss Side Manchester was more dangerous than the Favelas in Rio. Thank Dios they play footy too!
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Greece accuse Merkel of being a Nazi!
The corrupt Greeks have dressed up Merkel in a Nazi uniform and accused her and Germany of being a bunch of Nazis. If being a Nazi is giving the Greeks a 130 billion Euro bailout, then SIEG HEIL!
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Amazing Ryan Giggs's secret is SEX!
Ryan Giggs destroyed the souls of Man City and Norwich fans in one foul swoop and afterwards was asked what his secret is; he answered "Sex boyo and plenty of it ask Tom Jones, he's a Sex Bomb too!"
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Sexy Italian coffee barmaid lets her gorgeous "cocoa beans" hang out!
Italian, Laura Maggi, sexy coffee barmaid, has got the local women in outrage because not only does she serve the best cappuccino in the area, she also likes to swing her tasty "cocoa beans" too!
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Arab world in turmoil because of Jewish comparison!
Kabul: Imbecilic US GI's burnt copies of the Koran and now the Arab world is in flames, but not because of the burnt copies. No, they are most upset because CNN compared them to Kristallnacht Jews!
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German sex offenders will no longer become Eunuchs!
A European body is claiming that voluntary castration for sex-offenders in Germany is degrading for them and inhumane, maybe they should ask their victims if they prefer them to become Eunuchs or not?
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UK 7 year-old accused of being a racist!
At school a white UK 7 year-old asked his mate if he came from Africa, a teacher overheard the question, accused him of being a racist, banned him from school and now the boy has joined the KKK!
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Dutch scientists discover flat, synthetic burgers!
Dutch scientists have discovered a very flat, synthetic burger and promised "there is no meat at all in them!" McDonald's are suing them because they claim that their burgers are meatless too!
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Arsenal deducted 10 points!
The FA has deducted 10 points (dix points) off of Arsenal because they refuse to play football and Arsene Wenger's pathetic excuses have become inexcusable, sacre bleu!
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Dutch society grinds to a halt as loony carnivalists get totally pissed and high!
Holland is in the grip of carnival fever and the whole place has ground to a halt. Dutch lunatis have stormed the town and city centres gay, pissed, fancy-dressed and very high; typical Dutch!
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Greeks are losing belief in their state!
The Greeks are losing belief in their state and have asked their Albanian neighbours to take over. They've got nothing to lose either!
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List of stars named for Whitney's funeral!
A list of Whitney's friends has been drawn up for the funeral and Bobby Brown is taking care of the catering, he's promising a super menu of 'white sugar' and the stars can sniff all they want!
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Seb Coe caught nicking Greek Olympic artefacts!
Olympics guru, Seb Coe, has been caught light-footed nicking artefacts from the Greek olympic museum. He hoped that by parading the artefacts they would at least make the London Olympics credible??
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Dutch Prince hit by an avalanche!
Dutch Prince Friso has been hit by an avalanche, luckily he was in flat Holland at the time otherwise it could have been nasty!
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German President resigns and Hitler has been offered the post!
The German President, Herr Wulff, has resigned because he was corrupt. You can say what you like about Adolf, but he wasn't corrupt, nasty yes. So the Germans are giving him another chance!
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The Sun to appear on Sundays!
No more cloudy days on Sunday because Rupert Murdoch, alias God, is allowing The Sun to shine and it won't be tapping anybody's telephones because Sunday is "holey", just like Murdoch's conscience!
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South American mafia infiltrate English soccer!
Tevez and Suarez (and others) are just puppets of the South American mafia. English clubs are dancing to their tunes and paying them millions of bucks; sick Premier league, ole!
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AC Milan 4 Arsene's bunch 0!
Maybe it is better that United are in Amsterdam tonight! English footie needs a reality check!
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Showing page 29 (of 72 pages)
