Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Jaggedone.
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Showing page 26 (of 72 pages)
Russian will attack Poland if they lose tonight!
Big Brother Russia has vowed to attack Poland and march to the East German border if Poland dare win tonight. The Polish just laughed and said "so what we've seen it all before!"
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Engand qui, qui their pants!
England last night nearly qui, qui'd in their pants at the thought of losing and the French were 'merde"! Lots of qui qui et merde around!
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Irish win the Euro's
The Irish will win Euro 2012 hands down, but sadly not the football version, but who cares as long as their superb fans keep on winning over the hearts of the rest of Europe!! Superb!!
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English summer has arrived, so have the storms!
The annual arrival of a British summer has caused storms, gales and whiplash winds to attack the green island. Maybe they should move Wimbledon and the Sham-Olympics to Tenerife, Olé!
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Dull and Boring twin up!
The towns of Dull, Scotland and Boring, US, are twinning up and hoping to inject a bit of excitement into their very dull and boring inhabitants, YAWN...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
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Joey Barton, banned, "bovvered" and beaten!
Soccer Enfant Terriblé, Joey Barton, has been beaten up by a couple of Scouse thugs who support Argentina and hate QPR; he just can't win can he?
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God boycotts Diamond Jubilee!
God has refused to attend the Queen's Diamond Jubilee personally, but he did send the UK a present; buckets of freezing rain!
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Facebook users cut off their noses to spite their faces!
Many Facebook users have been cut off because they're too nosy!
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Dutch Clown Prince stuck in a boggy situation!
Clown Prince Willem-Alexander has thrown a bog at a Dutch bog-throwing contest and now he's ashamed of doing it because millions haven't even got one to sit on let alone throw!
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UK Fatties to be re-housed in barns!
UK Fatties weighing over 50 stone are to be re-housed in barns and the piggies who live in the barns will be given the houses because they don't live like piggies!
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Mario Balotelli is a genius dickhead!
Balotelli has announced to the world that he is a genius; what a "Dickhead"!
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Norway 0 - England 1, there's hope yet!
Hodgson's Homies won and now he can't wait to bite off those 'Frogs Legs"!
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Love sick Lady Gaga cancels Indonesia gig!
Lady Gaga has cancelled her Indonesia gig not because of security reasons; she is love sick and can't bear the pain of living him. Jean Paul Gaultier loves him too, but has no chance!
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Germans hate penalty shoot-outs (but only when they lose!)
After the Bayern Munich disaster against Chelsea Sepp Blatter told the world that penalty shoot-outs are "Scheisse"! They will be now replaced by extra time until the German opponents drop dead!
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Roy Hodgson's successful initiation as England manager!
Ray Hodgson's first training session was a huge success, during his introduction in Manchester he managed to keep the players attention for longer that 5 minutes and none of them fell asleep!
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Dutch woman accused of massacring over a million ants!
A Dutch woman has been accused of ant genocide because she wiped out more than a million of the tiny buggars. She has pleaded not guilty because the ants are cannibals anyway, especially orange ones!
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Eddie Stobart lands outer-space contract!
Giant trucking company Eddie Stobart has landed the contract to bring goods to the space-centre in outer space (where else?). He is over the moon!
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UK royal tearoom owner ejects non-royalists!
A UK royal tearoom owner ejected 3 non-royalists because they refused to stand up as the national anthem played. She knew they were non-royalists because they were wearing Cromwell helmets!
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Chelsea!!
Enough said; they spanked the bums of the "Lederhosen" and beat them at their own game; Brilliant!!!!!!
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Bratwurst, Bavarian beer and Lederhosen on the Chelsea menu!
Win or lose, Chelsea players have promised to don their lederhosen and knickerbockers, get pissed on Bavarian beer and have the party of a lifetime in Munich; their WAGS are being left at home!
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Erskine Quint snubs Jamie Oliver & Gordon Ramsay!
Aristocratic super-hero, Erskine Quint, has snubbed Jamie Oliver's and Gordon Ramsay's invitation to dine in their fab restaurants; the reason: He couldn't stand the swearing!
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Time waits for nobody, not even Sir Alex!
It's usually Sir Alex complaining about extra time, but yesterday he wished that there was no extra time because Man City had enough of it. Today SAF went to buy a new watch!
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Sir Alex Ferguson converts to Catholicism!
In a final desperate hope for a "Holy intervention" SAF has discarded his Protestant god for the Catholic one; in his hopeless situation any thing helps!
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Mercurial Stud sent to the knackers yard!
Spoof secret police; The scary SAS, thought they discovered a Trojan Horse invading, but it wasn't, it was just an innocent, mercurial stud and now his "knackers" are in a pot of glue! Boo, hoo!
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Showing page 26 (of 72 pages)
