Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Jaggedone.
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Showing page 23 (of 72 pages)
Lance Armstrong did it, but now prove it!
Lance Armstrong did it, in fact he's admitted it, but now prove it!! Therefore he remains innocent just like O.J.Simpson was proven innocent, so who really gives a f++k!
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When Irish eyes are smiling it must be those Oil billions!
Irish eyes are smiling once again after it was confirmed that billions of barrels of oil have been found there! The US have sent their troops in to secure the fields just in case the Brits invade!
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Liverpool manager, Brendan Rodgers, starts his apprenticeship at Man Utd!
Liverpool jonkie Brendan Rodgers has decided to learn how to do it the right way by joining Sir Alex Ferguson's apprenticeship school; incognito of course!
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Bedford OAP's swear their plant was a daisy and not a cannabis!
An innocent OAP couple in Bedford, UK, bought a plant believing that it was a daisy plant; it turned out to be a cannabis plant and now the local hoodies are into caring for their OAP's!
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Hugo Chavez wins election because there were no opposition!
Cuddly Venezuelan president, Hugo Chavez, has won his personal election because there were no opposition; his hit-squads had done a remarkable job!
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Boris Johnson doesn't want to be Camerons "Bitch"!
David Cameron has attempted to lure Boris Johnson down to Chequers 5 times and every time BOJO refuses because he doesn't want to replace Nick Clegg as Cameron's "Bitch"!
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Afghan headbangers in Kabul headbang it!
A heavy metal concert in Kabul has proven that Afghan headbangers can do it as good as the rest of the world; only the miserable Taliban refused to participate because of their turbans!
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Man Utd fear vampire bats more than their own miserable form!
Man Utd have taken silver bullets, wooden stakes and garlic to Romania because they are more scared of vampire bats and Dracula than their own devilish form: "Bloody" first halves!
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The US cannot stop Canadian cheese smuggling!
US customs authorities just cannot stamp out Canadian cheese smuggling because their northern border resembles the Swiss one; holey Camembert!
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Nazi's come from heaven not hell!
Scientists have discoverd that Nazi's originally came from heaven on a meteorite called Chinga and not from hell like historians taught us to believe; H, bloody H!
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Mitt Romney "sucks"! Open windows in aeroplanes!
If Mitt Romney wins the election he has vowed to have open windows installed in the Presidential plane; What a "Sucker!"
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India don't want British supermarkets!
Gandhi, Aldi yes! Tesco no! The latest "Raj" in India causes a supermarket war; Holy cows and Lidl!
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Jesus had a missus!
A 4th century piece of tattered papyrus has confirmed the fact that Jesus had a missus, But no eye witnesses were around because even in those days people didn't live for 4 hundred years!
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Romney's backer vows a $100.000000,00 to get rid of Obama!
The US presidential race is rotten to the core especially now Mitt the Git has openly said he don't like Palestinians and his billionaire backer confirmed that to the tune of a $100.000000,00 bucks!
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Sir Salman Rushdie is the UK's new ambassador in Cairo!
In an attempt to calm the riots in Arabian countries David Cameron has announced that Sir Salman Rushdie is the new UK ambassador to Egypt; a brilliant diplomatic move to smooth over the fatwahs!
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Kate goes topless for charity!
The Duchess of Cambridge went topless for charity but didn't really mean to because Willy saw the photos and thought there's not a lot to see; OOPS! Divorce proceedings could commence soon!
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Man Utd fans attempt to commit mass suicide!
After hearing of Robin van Persie's injury masses of Man Utd fans tried to jump off of the railway bridge, but they had a guardian angel; Balotelli who saved them by throwing his money in the air!
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Tory MP damages 4 cars and blames Maggie Thatcher!
Sir Tony Baldry parked his Merc and it went AWOL damaging 4 cars on the way! He wasn't pissed but swore he saw his ex-boss, Maggie Thatcher, behind the wheel, but she couldn't remember a thing!
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Obama goes AWOl!
President Obama has gone AWOl because he hasn't moved a thing in 4 years and is sick of his own rhetoric so he decided to follow Dr. Livingstone and if you want to know where he is, ask Stanley!
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Ronaldo retires because he is sad (and pathetic)!
Cristiano Ronaldo is depressed (AAAHH) because he knows he will never be Numero Uno unless Lionel Messi dies, so he's retiring. He is going to Calcutta to become Mother Teresa Numero dos! Bueno Dios!
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Red-Headed Ginger nutters meet in Holland!
Gloabal "Ginger Nutters" meet in Breda, Holland; where else could they possibly get their "orange heads" together!
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Millions of black holes found in the Royal Albert Hole not space!
Scientists have made an amazing discovery; millions of black holes in the Royal Albert Hall! John Lennon was right in his "Day in the life" and now he's in heaven; "Imagine" that!
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FC Barcelona sign Brazilian boy without feet!
FC Barcelona have signed a Brazilian 11 year-old born without feet, which is a very special feat having no feet and playing soccer; his nickname is "Pele Twinkle No Toes"!
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Famous Spoof writer goes down with E Coli!
Skoob 1999, famous spoof satirist, has been affected by an E Coli bacteria that attacked his intestines due to over consumption of hard boiled eggs: Portsmouth has been declared a Bio Hazard zone!
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Showing page 23 (of 72 pages)
