Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Jaggedone.
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Showing page 22 (of 72 pages)
Statues to be erected to arseholes and crapped on by pigeons!
Sir Alex Ferguson's statue gave the UN a super idea! They are erecting statues all over the planet dedicated to infamous arseholes! The erections will be where millions of pigeons can crap on them!
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Naked Eskimos don't want free speech!
Nudists in San Francisco are claiming that being naked in public is a form of free speech! Eskimos beg to differ; they believe it's f+++++g madness!
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Obama attempts to French Kiss Burmese opposition leader!
In a not very diplomatic gesture, President Obama attempted to French Kiss Miss Suu Kyi the Burmese opposition leader; she refused and said "I'd rather have the Burmese President kiss my arse!"
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Drunk in Aussie attempts to drive a croc!
An Australian drunkard attempted to drive a croc and ended up nearly "legless"!
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Meat eaters lie and are sex-maniacs!
Indian vegetarians have proof that since McD+++++s opened veggie restaurants men have stopped lying to their wives about having sex with prostitutes because living a veggy life makes them "soft"!
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Uruguayan president; is the the poorest or the richest?
President Jose Mujica of Ururguay is the poorest president on the planet because he gives all his money away and lives in a farm shack! Is he rich or is he poor? Ask rich hypocrite David Cameron!
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Diamonds in his belly and not on the soles of his shoes!
A South African smuggler ignored Paul Simon's classic and swallowed 222 diamonds worth £1,4 million. When asked why he didn't hide them in the soles of his shoes he answered: "I couldn't afford them!
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Supersymmetry theories kicked in to orbit!
Scientists have decided to kick the Supersymmetry theories into orbit because they have found "black holes" spinning in their super-intelligent brains; lets hope they all implode!
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"Doggy Style" tactics from SAF a winner!
Sir Alex Ferguson's latest tactics are a winner; "Doggy Style"! Come from behind and have a winning climax! Brilliant, WOOF, WOOF!
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Chinese ban Pigeon-Spies from Beijing!
The paranoid Chinese Communist party has banned ping pong balls, open windowed vehicles and pigeon-spies from flying in their air space until they've chosen a new leader; here his name, WAN KIN DIK!
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Indians caught peeing in public to be shamed on You Tube!
Local Indian government in Rajasthan are hoping that by filming people peeing and defecating in public and putting them to shame on You Tube; peeing in public will stop! Now most Indians are peed off!
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Imbecile soccer fans attempt to act like intelligent monkeys: Bigots!
UK soccers fans have been caught attempting to act like their intelligent cousins; monkeys. Which again goes to prove that primates are much further up the evolutionary tree than soccer imbeciles!
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Nottingham man arrested at Lidl for laughing out loud!
An ageing Notts man dressed in green pants was caught laughing in Lidl and was arrested! It seems he was wetting himself waiting to pay for his rotting fruit & veg while reading a fab book called EQ?!
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Deutsche Dominatrix, Dirty Dagmar, dies whipping!
Dirty Dagmar, infamous German dominatrix, has died whipping the hell out of the previous world whipping record and has been entered into the Guiness book of records as "Chief Whip"!
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Scientists discover 86 year old nymphomaniac called Volga Olga!
Scientists have discovered a Russian 86 year old nymphomaniac called Volga Olga in a Siberian forest! She is the oldest nympho in the world and has no intention of retiring; just yet!
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Rolling Stones perform in Paris without zimmerframes; A miracle!
The Rolling Stones just keep on rolling even if they look like a bunch of skeleton zombies with guitars around their necks. Keith Richards is living proof that there is reincarnation! Arise Lazarus!
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Ajax clean as a whistle; City shitty as a bunch of scrubbers!
Ajax mopped the floor with shitty City and now United fans can have a long, clean laugh at their dirty neighbours!
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Topless Ukrainian women have the front to bare it all!
Topless womens rights protestors in Kiev have proven that Ukrainian women are not just sex toys for their men because they have the "bare necessities" and now they've got it off of their chests!
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Even Louis Vuitton underpants have brown stripes!
A man is suing Louis Vuitton because after spending $250 on underpants, and after wearing them once there were "brown stripes" in them; Vuitton claims the rich and famous should not fart in his pants!
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Dildos out whips in!
Women are no longer willing to accept harmless sex toys like dildos and vibrators! The modern day women wants "hardcore" and S & M so get on your knees and get whipping!!
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German Twitter bans German Nazi "twits"!
Twitter in Germany have banned Nazis from spreading their evil messages in Germany, but Twitter global have not! So hold on to you tin helmets; Made in Germany can still Blitzkrieg you!
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Nike drop Lance because Lance dropped his Nike tight cycling pants!
Nike have divorced Lance Armstrong because he has said wearing their tight pants caused sore bums and balls so he was forced to take medicines and change brands; "cycling hell!"
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Vinnie Jones; hard with his Russians and soft with his missus!
Hard-man,Vinnie Jones, has been caught having a "hard" time with Russian beauties and his wife kicked him out. Vinnie has promised to become soft because a divorce can be expensive and very "hard"!
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Elvis is not dead and now he's flogging his haunted house!
Elvis fans are elated at the news that "The King" is flogging his own house from beyond proving that he's not dead after all; but he is only a skeleton of his old self!
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Showing page 22 (of 72 pages)
