Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Jaggedone.
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Showing page 19 (of 72 pages)
Rooney Retires!
Wayne Rooney has been taking lessons from Gazza and reading George Best's biography before he starts his new career as an ex-soccer super-star alcoholic; there is nothing else after United, ask Alex!
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No longer a "Theatre of Dreams"!
For 27 years Old Trafford was "The theatre of dreams" from next season it will be a "Theatre of NightMoyes!"
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over 500 victims of abuse now!
the death toll in Bangladesh has risen to over 500. Check your labels in your cheap textiles, it's not funny!
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Bangladesh textile factory collapses; so what?
The price of human life in Bangladesh means nothing as long as global textile retailers can keep their profits up; who pays the price? Ask those lying under the factory rubble>
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Dutch abdication!
Queen Beatrix abdicates; and?
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Mount Everest punch up causes avalanche!
European climbers climbing Everest were involved in a punch up with their sherpas who refused to kick their donkey who refused to eat Toblerone instead of a carrot!
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Tu no comprendo, no Bite, French kiss Si, Si!
Luis Suarez has pleaded innocence after attempting to bite his Chelsea opponent! Luis claims it was a French kiss Uruguayan style and promises to have his buck teeth removed!
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United!
The pretenders to the throne have just been forcibly removed by a set of Spurs and now the crown will return to the true champions of England; City RVP!
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To king or not to king?
When is a king not a king? Ask Willem-Alexander of Holland, he's double Dutch too!
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Jackboot thwarts North Korean nuclear launch!
At last we can thank Hitler for something, his jackboots, that have thwarted the North Korean nuclear launch by spiking the barrel; non-smoking!
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Jellied eel slips up mans bum!
Whilst bending over to pick up his cockles and winkles a very slippery jellied eel entered a man's bottom. The eel pleaded innocent!
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Thatcher death parties!
Many find them disrespectful; the Irish don't, they just call them a wake and we all know what the Irish thought about Maggie!
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Funeral guests for Mrs T
I wonder if Arthur Scargill has been invited?
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When is a fascist not a fascist?
The answer to the above question is simple: If you are manager of a third division crap club; NON! If you become manager of a premier league club: SI!!! For more information ask Paolo di Canio!
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Dolphins refuse too help humans again!
Dolphins are refusing to help humans again because the only thanks they get is being slaughtered by moronic butcherers in Japan. Great White sharks are relieved at the decision; yum, yum surfers bum!
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Wayne Rooney confirmed with Rabies!
Before tonights match in Montenegro Wayne rooney was diagnosed with Rabies, but he will certainly play because they are use to him frothing at the mouth in Montenegro!
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Disruptive behaviour in schools on the rise!
Shoot Vodaphone!
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Giant hanging penis discovered in amazon forest!
This could never be found in an Indian forest!
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Obama licks Israeli butts!
"I am a Berliner" Kennedy. "I am a Palestinian hater" Obama... Get the message?
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How to blow 1,8 million quid in 5 minutes!
Ask twat lottery winner who blew it all!
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Time stood still in Iraq!
Tony Blair begged H.G.Wells via a medium to show him how to build a time machine so he can send the SAS in to remove Saddam before the Iraq invasion and clear his guilty conscience; WMD's, F'off!
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Double Dutch suicide as internet dies!
A double Dutch couple have committed suicide after their internet was cut off by the Dutch Telecom who apologised and have promised to pull their fingers out of their dykes in the future!
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Becks slaps Zlatan's bum in gay Paris!
David Beckham thought he would do his best to prove to Parisians that he loves gay Paris by slapping Zlatan's bum! Someone forgot to tell him that gay Paris meant something different many years ago!
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Blair admits at last that Iraq is not Mallorca!
After the invasion and attempts to turn Iraq into a friendly holiday destination; Blair admits he has failed miserably and even Billy Butlins has refused to open a holiday camp there!
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Showing page 19 (of 72 pages)
