Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Jaggedone.
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Showing page 17 (of 72 pages)
Susan Boyle has smelly qui qui disease!
Susan Boyle discovered that she has asparagus disease whilst letting water, it smelt rather strange and her eyes and nose started running too!
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RIP Nelson!
The last, greatest freedom has left us, and the world should all applaud this hero of those without a voice!
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Rooney demands transfer!
Wayne Rooney has demanded a transfer because he wants to play for a big club and Everton is his desired target!
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what men knew all along!
Scientists have discovered that men and women are wired differently. All men married longer than a week knew that all the time!
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Back in business!
The Spoof has reopened its dusty doors and our editor now claims he is Lazarus!
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Rooney begs for transfer to Everton!
Wayne Rooney has demanded a transfer back to Everton because he just cannot stand "monkey off his back" Moyes. After yesterdays result several gorillas were seen jumping around Old Trafford!
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West Brom plant banana skin under Moyes!
West Brom asked Moyes to slip on a banana skin and he fell for it, literally. The Baggies bagged United by the balls and afterwards monkey Moyes begged for a one way ticket back to Liverpool!
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Man Utd buy Beckham!
Man Utd have decided to turn to Becks to save their reputation as transfer deadline dodo's. He's on a free and begging Posh to play alongside "The Mop" Fellaini in the Theatre of Nightmares!
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Cameron demands to lick Obama's butt!
UK PM, Cameron is demanding to be allowed to lick Obama's butt and become famous like Blair the Bush butt licker, they both have bad breath!
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EDL are deported!
England have deported the EDL (English Defence League) because they claim it is anti-English and there is no room for such behaviour in England! The EDL are now in exile on the Isle of Man!
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Egypt declare war on US
Egypt has declared war on the US because the US refuses to bomb Cairo and the place needs an " extreme shake up" before it falls into the hands of Islamic Maniacs!
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US bomb Lichtenstein!
The US have decided to bomb Lichtenstein instead of Syria because Assad, Gaddafi, Saddam, etc, still have billions stashed away there and Syria has no oil!
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England 4 - Minnows 0!
England win at last, so what? They are and will always be CRAP!
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The Belgian Beast!!
Moyes does have "cojones" because he's signed the "Belgian Beast" at last. But what an idiot he is, could have given me the 4,5 million he paid too much for Mr Fellaini!
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Mike Tyson nearly dead!
Mike Tyson has admitted he is nearly dead, he forgot one thing, as far the world is concerned he was buried long ago, RIP!
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Pelligrini gets a leek!
Man City learned today what it is to take a LEEK, and Cardiff City exposed Pelligrini's Leeks, Welsh style!
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Jaggedone brought out of retirement to save The Spoof!
Fab Author, Jaggedone, Erskine Quint, fabulous book, has been brought out of retirement to save The Spoof. His fee is undisclosed. Punters are saying Rooneys salary is peanuts, hence, U got a monkey!
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Syria stop hostilities!
The civil war in Syria has been postponed for 48 hours because the US have failed to deliver their weapons in time and the presidents wife is shopping at Harrods!
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Cycling is London is now an extreme Sport!
Cyclists in London have registered for the Olympic Extreme sports in Calcutta, 2022, and feel they can win a gold medal because of their superb training avoiding buses and taxis in the capital!
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Multi-culti is dead in the UK!
Multi-culti has been declared officially dead in the UK because Boris Johnson is colour blind!
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Cameron declares war on the Isle of Man!
British PM, Cameron, has declared war on the Isle of Man. He needs an insular war to boost is sagging popularity just like Thatcher did all those years ago and they say history never repeats itself!
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Soccer season in England proves that summer is over!
The English Premier league started and summer was officially declared over; it pissed down with rain!
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Obama takes a leak!
Scientists have discovered why the US has no secrets any more. It is because when Obama takes a leak, he blames the flies on his bog wall who work for the Feds!
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Swansea 1 - RVP + others 4
Man Utd are not a one-man team as Robin VP proved against Swansea! A sulking Rooney does not agree!
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Showing page 17 (of 72 pages)
