Microwave Shane Worthington is no longer comfortable with the life that the factory prepared him for and now identifies as a Toaster. 'Yes' said the shiny metal box 'I am sick of living as a Microwave, and now I want to live my life as another shi…
After years of investigation, Scientists at Dyson's Research and Development labs in Sussex have isolated the single greatest cause of obesity in the western world. "It's the toaster," said Geoff Fry, head of the Single Slice Toaster Development T...
June Reynolds of Townsend, Tennessee was hauled away by police still screaming this morning because she had apparently tried over 100 times to get through to someone who would help her sign up for Obamacare. "That's the third one we have had to ar...
"This happened to a guy in London, England recently and was reported in all the newspapers so I guess this idiot thought it must be some wonderful thing and he winds up needing help also", says Fire Chief Nick Shaft. Shaft was talking about the re...
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