Cydonia - (Alien Cowshit/Bullshit Mess): NASA scientists reckon that recently discovered plumes of methane gas all point to a highly organised network of bovine lifeforms on the distant red planet. Three massive telescopes in Hawaii linked to the...
(Washington DC)-- Astronomer Richard C. Hogland announced he's discovered an 'ass' on Mars. Mr. Hogland is best known for discovering the 'Face on Mars' many years ago. He noted the ass is exactly 180 degrees from the Cydonia plain, where the Face...
A leaked photograph from NASA's ROV Mars Rover camera shows what appears to be a lump of shaped timber lying in a dried river course running parallel to the planet's controversial Cydonia Mensae region, famous for it's giant Sphinx-like face, Inca Ci...
Cydonia - (Jean-François Champollion Mess): NASA's Mars Observer has sent back stunning pictures of the red planet's very own Vallley of the Kings erection in an area close to the pentagrammic D&M Pyramid in Cydonia. The famous Egyptian necrop...
Scientists at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory confirmed today that water has been found on Mars. Using highly sophisticated telescopes and other instruments in earth orbit, they determined that the Martian surface contains at least three molecules o...
Cydonia - (Alien Anal Mess): NASA's Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter has sent back proof of vast subcutaneous deposits of benchmark crude in Martian crevices. The news follows reports that the Mars Phoenix Lander has found a huge underground silo of UF...
Houston TX-- NASA reported incredible bad luck with its twin rovers on Mars today. The Spirit probe had a devastating head-on collision with the Opportunity probe. Both rovers were completely destroyed in the mishap. The Martian rovers have been...
Cydonia, Mars - (X-Files Mess): A massive UFO mothership is impeding access to NASA's Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter space probe after it found vast deposits of firey opals in the Valles Marineris canyon complex near the Tharsis area of the red planet.
Except...Since my business went titsup the missus has returned to work and I'm looking after the kids an the house whilst I sort a few things out. The thing is, I'm turning into her and she's turning into me. All of a sudden I've stopped watching re-runs of the Champions League and started watching Loose Women, and worst still I find myself agreeing with everything they say. The other nig...
In 2003 Spirit, along with its sibling Opportunity, landed on Mars. The two Rovers became instant media celebrities, gracing magazine covers and dominating water cooler conversation around the world. A Nasa artist's rendition of the brave robotic fi...
In breaking news today, billionaire Donald Trump has announced that he will construct three condominiums on the planet Mars by 2016. He has signed a joint venture with the Euro Space Agency for the transport of materials and construction workers...
Although Scientists have recently discovered Snow falling on Mars, it is believed that Martians are not holding out great hopes for a White Christmas this year. Maude Smith 45, from Mars told us: 'The weather looks so promising in early Autumn, an...
Britain has finally decided to join the international space race and is set to launch an ambitious manned fact-finding mission to giant red planet Mars. Legendary space pioneers Yuri Gagarin, Neil Armstong and Buzz Aldrin will soon be joined in the s...
Houston TX-- Red-eyed NASA scientists glowed with pride today when they announced the first results from the Phoenix Mars Lander. The lander was sent to test the Red Planet's soil and it arrived last month. The results show the soil is full of nu...
Beverly Hills - Phoenix Mars Lander malfunctions have been explained by accidental discovery of the Lander in the freezer of famed singer Ozzy Ozbourne. "I was just looking for some ice to mix a drink when the thing shouted at me like a...
(The North Pole, Mars) - In one of the most important scientific discoveries of the last 100 days (at least), the Mars Lander, currently making sand castles in the sand of the polar region of the fourth rock from the sun, has located deposits of ice...
Houston TX-- NASA scientists were astonished today by a new discovery from the Phoenix Mars Lander. The little spacecraft landed at the martian north pole ten days ago. Yesterday, the lander placed a small sample of martian soil in a heated oven for...
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