Residents of Portland, Oregon are backing the Police Department and Mayor in their drive to send illegal immigrants packing and back to where they belong. Mayor Alvin Bostock told a Town hall meeting, packed with concerned residents, worried about...
Washington DC - Deputy White House Press Secretary, Alfonzo Alamoso Arogola Rodriquez Somafeliea, announced today that all Mexicans would be able to participate in the Presidential election by remote ballot. As an added bonus for those who parti...
The Obama Administration will stop deporting and issue work permits to as many as 800,000 young illegal immigrants who came to the U.S. as children and have never committed a crime, Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano said Friday. Napo...
Baraboo,Wi-Sargent Fred Bekopski sits in his patrol car on a bluff above the Wisconsin River and surveys the plains below through night vision googles, a cup of coffee by his side, the static of the police scanner in the background. It's a lonely vig...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Department of Illegal Alien Control has just made a very interesting discovery. Assistant Director Ferguson F. Cheermeister informed the U.S. news media that recent studies have concluded that roughly 87 percen...
Arizona has extended a limited-time offer to all immigrants in the state to be voluntarily incarcerated for a 10-year period, following which they would enjoy a six-month exemption from the state requirement that all immigrants over the age of 14 car...
Mitt Romney sat down with The Queen of Media on Friday to talk about polygamy, illegal immigrants, jobs being shipped to Mexico, dog kennels, and the indomitable spirit of his late father. Criticized for being even wealthier at birth than most Ame...
Trafalgar Square, London: In an astonishing blitz-attack thieves nicked the huge Norwegian Christmas Tree standing in Trafalger Square. It was last seen speeding towards the M25 on the back of a low-loader and then disappeared behind a motorway lay-b...
Worcester City player Lee Smith has been suspended from playing indefinitely while a police investigation is conducted into his comments on Twitter. "His remarks were out of order," said club chairman, Adge Wurzel. "I don't understand this Twitche...
The Empire has been thrown in to turmoil this week, as immigration officers from a combined league of Border Agencies, stormed the battle station 'Death Star', as it orbited planet Earth. Wojtek Brzezinski of the UK Border Agency told us "our offi...
Romanian immigrants who managed to cross the great divide, 25 miles from there to here, illegally, and after being round-up are being given the chance to stay in the UK if they can fathom out one Times crossword in 48 hours. Otherwise they will be se...
Washington AC/DC - The US government denied today the existence of intelligent alien lifeforms in the White House amid a mounting furor about 'non-indigenous illegals' in high public office. Tell-tale signs like ectoplasm trails, mysterious glowin...
AUSTIN - Governor Rick Perry was in his campaign bus heading up towards Dallas on his Good Old Boy Bus Tour while listening to some music by that little old band from Texas, ZZ Top. Perry was accompanied on the tour by Pico de Gallo, a reporter wi...
CHICKITIN: Dr. BILLINGSGATE wishes to thank Guy Lombardo for providing the inspiration for "The Immigration Song." It is a variation of "The Chicken Song" that was quite popular back in the '40's and '50's and was sung by the vocalist for Guy Lombardo's band. THE IMMIGRATION SONG Cock-a-doodle-doo, bless our illegal immigrants They bypass our borders the best they kin Sometimes nine an...
The president of the United States wrote a Fatwah against the INS following the detention and threatened deportation of nine close personal relatives. The Obama clan's trouble with immigration authorities began with Zeituni Onyango, Obama's patern...
AUSTIN, Texas - Texas Gov. Rick Perry has asked the U.S. Department of Homeland Security for nearly $350 zillion to cover the costs he says Texas has incurred incarcerating Mexican-Americans in state prisons and county jails. In a letter to Homela...
A dusty loner, living rough off the land while continuing to look for lost gold mines in Arizona, stumbled onto what is said to be the 'mother lode' of pork barrel spending by amnesty loving liberal democrats. Well camouflaged by air due to the a...
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