London - "We're need to sort this out man to man," William hissed through gritted teeth after the eighteen year-old had kept him waiting over two whole hours at Mayfair's exclusive El Bandito Club. The hurriedly arranged secret rendezvous came as...
On the advice of royal physicians Prince William is to have all of his teeth extracted. Unlike normal people William's teeth have never stopped growing though up until just a few weeks ago there rate of growth had remained more or less steady. Most o...
Michael Law and Jessica Cotton have admitted that it was them, and not Kate and William Windsor at the Jubilee Concert. "We're the country's best Kate and Wills look-a-likes," said Jessica. "As Kate and Wills wanted a little alone time, they gave...
Prince Harry and Prince William did not sing the traditional words to the National Anthem during the Diamond Jubilee finale. Expert Lip readers were brought in to attempt to work out what they were singing. "We think they were singing something ab...
Derrière of dreams, Pippa Middleton's arse, was said this evening to be celebrating after having landed itself a lucrative new deal, in what's rumoured to be a seven figure sum with the total dross TV channel ITV 2. The bountiful bum-hole is beli...
London - Press-ganged by the Tories into wedlock last year Prince William has spoken about his eve-of-wedding nightmare. The terrifying dream saw a Royal Protection Racket minder warn him the 'daft Italian gold-digger' wife would spend a fortune d...
London - Constitutional experts said today 'seedy' Palace apparatchiks waived aside 'bloody obvious' objections to the Middleton marriage with its ball-and-chain appendage of a bastard brat. The added complication of bigamy, due to Kate being lega...
London, England. His Royal Highness, Prince William, has strenuously denied that he and the Duchess of Cambridge are preparing to establish a family. Recently seen nursing a subject's babe, Prince William was adamant that this didn't mean that he was...
Buckingham Palace has reluctantly admitted that a Royal Visit didn't feature Prince William or Kate Middleton, but in actual fact their waxwork replicas. Suspicions were aroused when officials noticed the pair were unusually quiet and unco-operati...
WASHINGTON, DC (ABSNN) President Barack Obama is resigning at the end of April to allow for the installment of the first British Monarch to rule over the North American "colonies' since George III. As of May 1, 2012, Prince William, Duke of Cambridg...
London - "Of course underneath that royal blue engagement frock she isn't wearing knickers, hehe," an exhibition organiser tweeted today, "pretty much like on her wedding day!" The craven images' debut tomorrow will see melted down Princess Diana...
Large handled mugs, mismatched saucers, too small plates, celebratory foot muffs and Wills and Kate wigs are just some of the items that have been appearing on eBay over recent weeks. All of the items have one thing in common, they are Royal Wedding...
LONDON-In what is being hailed as the most significant news since the death of Osama Bin Laden several months ago, which in itself was the biggest news since the royal wedding a couple days before that, the royal couple has dumbfounded scientists the...
The Duchess of Cambridge has emptied Prince William's wardrobe of his best suits and some casual wear and despatched them post haste to the South Atlantic. The move is in direct response to sabre rattling by Argentine President Cristina Kirchner w...
London - An inevitable Hollywood blockbuster has also bombed as a plot by Palace Enlightened Ones upping Prince William to national hero-dom lies on the cutting room floor today. The top secret scam alongside the Argentine military was to have mag...
London - Strict No Smoking, No Drugging, No Soliciting bylaws form crucial components of the Kensington Palace tenancy agreement covering poodle fakirs (sic) and their molls. Last night a hooded, muffled figure was seen strolling in Kensington Gar...
London - An ex-lags self-help club has picked Prince William to be its official mouthpiece it was announced today. The Royal Gravytrains Anonymous sinecure comes just days after Kate Middleton took on the patronage of the Snouts-in-the-Trough Asso...
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