London - Someone in Buckingham Palace has had a strong hunch that the Queen might kick the bucket this weekend just as the England football squad lines up against Spain in a friendly. The premonition has seen players issued with black armbands ahe...
The flag of the United Kingdom, more generally know as the Union Jack, it's current design dates back to 1801 with the Union of Great Britain and Ireland, is to be replaced by a new multicultural flag in time to form part of The Queen's Diamond Jubil...
London - Snakes-in-the-Wold resident Mrs Dymphna Cockles, MBE, consultant astrologer to the Illuminati, said today she'd witnessed the death star's shadow transiting HM's pallid gob in Australia during a Commonwealth barbie. "All the signs are tha...
The Queen and Prince Philip have ended their royal visit to Australia and are on their way back to England so that they won't miss out on this years Halloween celebrations on Monday evening (31 October) in the woods near Windsor Castle. Originall...
Well known for sticking his size 12 boot where it doesn't belong, Prince Philip has enjoyed a long and illustrious history of inappropriate public statements and generally bad attitude. At the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting (CHOGM) this week he's proved he's not losing his low brain cell and emotional intelligence touch: To Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard about her inability t...
Her Maj the Queen this morning opened the Commonwealth Heads of Government Conference (CHOGM) in Perth, Western Australia. Here are the key excerpts from her opening speech: Ewwwww, hellewwww, my name is Elizabeth, Queen of England, and what's left of one's great aunt Victoria's once massive empire. One hopes you appreciate the effort Philip and I have made to come to Australia. It's a frigh...
We're having to whisper this story from Perth Western Australia, as none of us is safe. The city has been taken over by police and military to make sure nobody lobs a meat pie at Her Majesty who's here for the CHOGM piss-up of unknown, backward Commo...
In breaking news, Julia Gillard the Australian Prime Minister has caused international furor by first refusing to curtsey to the Queen and then accidentally sitting on the Queen's face. The face-sitting incident happened at a dinner for Her Maj in...
Alec Baldwin, Russell Brand, Susan Sarandon and Pete Seeger are just a few of the famous folks who have already visited Occupy Wall Street. Now there's another famous face that will show itself in Zuccotti Park. The Face of Royalty. Yep, that's...
All over Australia people are breathing giant "ho hums" at the prospect of Her Maj visiting our mighty shores this week. The main reason for the visit, apart from getting some sunlight on her translucent Brit skin, is to attend the Commonwealth Heads...
The seven-feet tall wondergirl towered over our own Queen Elizabeth the Second as the tiny, 'delicate' monarch peered up at this figure, which must surely have appeared to Her Royal Majesty as some sort of giant thundercloud. It was explained to t...
Adelaide - The Queen's tears flowed long and deep today as news of her firstborn's sudden, unexpected RIP flashed up on TV screens everywhere along her final Australian swansong trip. (Enuff of the LSD crap - Ed). Sixty nine years have passed sinc...
Everybody's doin' it. Why not Her Majesty? Rumor is that the Queen made DWTS producers agree to several stipulations before she signed her contract. She will keep her crown on (via Super Glue) and will carry her purse during every performance.
London - A horrid GlibDem scam to allow Catholics back into the royal fold tonight sees HM vowing to swallow arsenic rather than bow to the latest Popish bollox from Brussels. Just after sunset a mystery comet from the Papal Bull Shit galaxy was s...
Buckingham Palace has just issued a statement that Her Majesty The Queen intends to abdicate from the royal throne and to emigrate to Australia. Royal Press Secretary Sir James Faversham-Gainsborough-Kizzmeyarrz read the following statement prepared by Her Maj: Philip and I have decided to stand aside and give our son Charles the opportunity to rule the British Empire. We've waited this long in...
London - "Maybe HM thought it was just some loyal oaf lying prostrate as a mark of obeisance," a Westminster Coroner's Court heard today during an inquest into a rotting corpse discovered 'just yards' from the Palace gates. Opening the inquest int...
There seems to be little doubt that the humble Wellington boot, or 'wellie' as it is popularly known seems set to dominate this season's winter collection at the London Fashion Show. The humble wellie - a sort of galvanised rubber boot designed to...
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