A late-life rock 'n roll resurgence has sent Vera Lynn over the edge of the white cliffs of Dover. She has been admitted to her local drop-in centre and asked to put her feet up, having overdosed on cream teas and aspidistra garnish. There were c...
If you are putting a coat on your child, make sure you write to the BBC first or the regulatory body which controls the manufacture of rain. I would also advise that you take any coat to a laboratory for testing and file an email with the European Court of Human Rights explaining; 'I do understand that the freedom to wear purple muvva fucka trainers is a right of my child but at the same time I do...
Answering a claim of a cover up over the release of Ali a-Megrahi, Prime Minister Gordon Brown asserted: "I have been totally transparent. I transparently chose not to mention that I'd said 'we don't want him to die in prison' and further to that...
According to last night on BBC 4, we are apparently on the verge of a nervous breakthrough. Cell research has progressed to the point where we can make a new generation of the human race without shagging each other. Admittedly that could be a good thing. There never has been any insurance policy against waking up in bed with an absolute minger after several ales. At first I thought a second gen...
With the passing of Edward Kennedy America has apparently lost an icon of the left. But did the left ever exist? In a nation which recently paralleled fixing some skint person's teeth for free, with the immediate re-emergence of Stalin, how left can it be? In the UK you could probably stick your hand down the back of the sofa and come up with an anarchist trying to blow up an oil rig. In Ameri...
When the police first broadcast their recent advert warning drug-drivers that big eyes would give them away at the wheel, innocent Barry Walsh of Walthamstow could not have predicted he would be arrested himself. "I used to be stopped and searche...
Gordon brown invited journalists to his garden this week where he held court, from his seat on the garden fence. He bravely claimed, several days after everybody else, to have been repulsed over the scenes of celebration in Tripoli, following the arr...
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