Discussion Forum

As an amateur zoologist, I am familiar with apes. When a lady bonobo wishes a gentleman bonobo to make love to her, she pokes her buttocks in the air to attract his attention. This rather erotic if crude display is called "presenting".

So when I heard that Clare Balding would be presenting at the Rio Olympics I was naturally outraged, as well as strangely aroused.

Has anyone else suffered from any similar zoological misunderstandings?

I would not be suprised if a lady human would have a similar effect on a gentleman human. I am a bit suprised that it is an Olympic sport however.

Which country is the front runner?

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Quote: Sir Geoffroy Cockface

As an amateur zoologist, I am familiar with apes. When a lady bonobo wishes a gentleman bonobo to make love to her, she pokes her buttocks in the air to attract his attention. This rather erotic if crude display is called "presenting".

So when I heard that Clare Balding would be presenting at the Rio Olympics I was naturally outraged, as well as strangely aroused.

Has anyone else suffered from any similar zoological misunderstandings?

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Poking one's buttocks in the air to attract the opposite sex is as American as apple pie. The Kardashian sisters, who have made a cottage industry of doing so, prove my point.

I refuse to comment on Brazil 2016, it drives me to sniff a line or two.

I actually asked a Russian gymnast if I could sniff her line too, she accused me of being a pervert, after all having hairs on a female chest at the tender age of 12 is rather a turn off, so I agreed with her!

Jaggedone, You seem to have all the credentials to be a world class prevert. What did you think of the Olympic women's bicycle race? Some day I would like to see your collection of bicycle seats. Do you have a favorite?

Haven't really bothered with the Olympics since I learned that there are no capybara in the Brazil squad. These are just the types of injustice that turn a man away from so-called "sport".

The whole thing is a mere side-show.

A Perversion Olympics would be quite a thing.

Probably already is one, actually.

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Quote: Dr. Billingsgate

Jaggedone, You seem to have all the credentials to be a world class prevert. What did you think of the Olympic women's bicycle race? Some day I would like to see your collection of bicycle seats. Do you have a favorite?

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Why are the athletes wearing parkas before their events?

Didn't someone tell them this is the summer Olympics, Hello!

You see, this is the kind of thing no self-respecting capybara would ever countenance.

Try telling that to the Olympic hierarchy, though. They don't care.

Beyond the obvious professionals involved I wonder what Olympic sports might be parlayed into a career once the crowds dissapear.

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Quote: victor nicholas

Beyond the obvious professionals involved I wonder what Olympic sports might be parlayed into a career once the crowds dissapear.

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Let us not forget that the Olympics was only founded in 1896 by Sir Wilbur Olympic to settle a wager he had with his friend Lord Percy of Upper Congo. The wager being that a Chinaman could beat a Hottentot in a trio of events - the 73 acre dash, nude flannel wrestling, and pony tossing.

That wager has long been settled, so the whole thing should have been forgotten by now.

Yes, how could one forget those halcyon days of loam handling and runder trunderling.

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Quote: Sir Geoffroy Cockface

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Quote: victor nicholas

Beyond the obvious professionals involved I wonder what Olympic sports might be parlayed into a career once the crowds dissapear.

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Let us not forget that the Olympics was only founded in 1896 by Sir Wilbur Olympic to settle a wager he had with his friend Lord Percy of Upper Congo. The wager being that a Chinaman could beat a Hottentot in a trio of events - the 73 acre dash, nude flannel wrestling, and pony tossing.

That wager has long been settled, so the whole thing should have been forgotten by now.

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Ah, halcyon days indeed. A few more:

The spontaneous combustion relay;

Freestyle cat-staring;

the Dandified Marathon, in which spats, a cravat and Malacca Cane-twirling were compulsory, and competitors had to whistle "Little Dolly Daydream, Pride of Idaho" throughout;

Four-man snuff-taking;

the 3000 metre sideways steeplechase;

Semaphore Tennis.

Let's not forget whoop wandering, leper leaping and von mongering, I predict new records in Rio.

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Quote: Erskin Quint

Ah, halcyon days indeed. A few more:

The spontaneous combustion relay;

Freestyle cat-staring;

the Dandified Marathon, in which spats, a cravat and Malacca Cane-twirling were compulsory, and competitors had to whistle "Little Dolly Daydream, Pride of Idaho" throughout;

Four-man snuff-taking;

the 3000 metre sideways steeplechase;

Semaphore Tennis.

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Intermediate banshee rag-picking...covert hovering for sexual gratification...bicycle seat sniffing...transcendental pie throwing. Events that made a difference in real time. Woefully missing in today's Olympics.

Is it Olympics time again already?


Cripes, where did that four years go???!!!

penguin bobsleigh

synchronised tweeting

slow 100 metre dash

porridge throwing

three-legged judo

unicycle team pursuit

I'm looking forward to the synchronised rickshaw burning on Wednesday.

I am looking forward to an Inuit emerging from one of those parkas and building an igloo.

I won't be happy until the Olympic Committee adds coed mud wrestling as an event. Swim suit optional, of course.

Nude female wrestling, absolutely. Nude female anything, actually.

Dear Doc.B. Being a slightly overweight, dedicated, ageing cyclist myself 3 x times a week sitting on my Bulls Harrier, no pain in the groin either, I do actually understand what these athletes go Froo-me (X cuse the tour de France pun).

My saddles do not smell of virgin juices, in fact my wife complains about a strange odor exiting my saddle room that resembles cats urine. In an attempt to rid my habitat of the stench, we employ a frivolous, young, busty wench to bend over my saddles and take a gentle whack whilst applying an ancient substance called dubbin to my leatherette's! My wife does not approve of that either, so I just apply my helmet.

As you can see, perverse Olympics is not my thing, but busty wenches are always welcome!