Discussion Forum

Hey Spoofwriters! Have you ever served in your country's military?

Who's been a soldier? Who defended their nation in conflict? Who would run away rather than do their duty? who never had or never took the opportunity? Who would hide under the bed like a coward if the bombs were falling 1000 miles away?

Q: Background Check: have you ever served in the military Yes, and during a war/conflict 41% Yes, but not in war/conflict 8% No 50% There have been 12 responses to this poll

There were supposed to be five options. The last two were:
No, I'm a conscientious objector.
No, but I've been a civil servant.

It's possible a number of veterans would not answer a question like this J-Man because of security/privacy issues.

Some who previously talked about their military service in the forums a while back got rubbished (I'm thinking Gnarly days here).

And some were harangued about any military service during one of Dunkin Donutz's many rants.

I attended only 1 year, my senior year, of high school in a town of about 2,500 in West Texas near Abilene (Air Force town - Dyess AFB). The military came there and administered a standardized test, then tried to recruit me.

At the time, having come from my particular circumstances, I didn't see that America had helped me at all. In fact, an American in uniform whose duty it was to protect me turned out to be part of those circumstances.

I used to read stacks of old Time magazines and National Geographic magazines my grandma gave me, but had a hard time understanding that America was at war when all that was happening somewhere else and I was dealing with my own issues. The way I saw it, most of the adversity I've faced in life was because of the people around me, not somebody in a foreign land.

Same goes for today. The armchair warriors have their own battles to fight, and their own agendas. Organizations like businesses, governments, and military have a very important function: To grow larger and more expansive with larger budgets.

One of the reasons I don't have more money now is because part of it went up in smoke in Iraq, and even more is being pissed away in Afghanistan.

I still believe, as I almost always have, that the billions of dollars we waste blowing up poor people in already decimated countries would be better spent feeding and educating people so they can be contributing members of humanity and their babies will stop growing up to fight us.

There's always a bad apple, but that doesn't mean the U.S. has to be one too.

Al Gore and John Kerry both enlisted.

As for me, don't ask, don't tell.

My own response is: I chose another career path, but would have been willing to serve my country if called up on or in time of war.

My son wishes to get his degree in aeronautical engineering or aerospace engineering and to fly fighter jets for the Air Force, and I am 100% proud of him for his decision and dedication to his country.

I consider persons unwilling to serve (even for religious reasons) as being cowards and less than pond scum. Richard Nixon, who as a devout Quaker could not take up arms personally, still ran a supply depot in the Pacific Theatre during WWII.

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Quote: The San Francisco Onion

As for me, don't ask, don't tell.

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For those living outside of the United States, let me explain the last remark by SFO.

The U.S. military had a practice for many years of banning gays. It was an automatic dishonorable discharge if a soldier was discovered to be gay (even in the navy).

A few years back, they came up with a policy of "don't ask, don't tell." The military would not ask a soldier if they were gay, and a soldier was not required to admit it. Those caught in a homosexual act on base would still be discharged, but the soldier was never required to admit their perversion.

This should explain to you the meaning of SFO's last line in case you did not understand.

I like mocking military types but I was fond of Gnarly Eric in an odd way and Buckwheats was always good for a luagh when it came to talking shit about playing soldier.

Jalapenoman, why are you asking this question now? Seems odd.
Are you worried about something bad happening? Whats up with you? Eh? EH??

Why are you going around calling people cowards for not serving in the stupid army?
What's so manly about serving 'your country'? You rarely win anyways.
And when was the last time you lot got invaded anyways?
Oh yeah, the Martians back in Area 51!

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Quote: Jalapenoman

My own response is: I chose another career path, but would have been willing to serve my country if called up on or in time of war.

My son wishes to get his degree in aeronautical engineering or aerospace engineering and to fly fighter jets for the Air Force, and I am 100% proud of him for his decision and dedication to his country.

I consider persons unwilling to serve (even for religious reasons) as being cowards and less than pond scum. Richard Nixon, who as a devout Quaker could not take up arms personally, still ran a supply depot in the Pacific Theatre during WWII.

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Absolute shit!

Easy to say now that you are too old Jalapenoman, you should enter the political arena, I think you'd be suited.

Will you be proud of your son when he crashes his PlayStation and is lynched by the people he was dropping his bombs on?


This is a childish and openly antagonistic thread, it serves no purpose, we know the lads on here who have served in the military, some of them were conscripted and some of them were volunteers. Ask Gnarly if he'd go again, I doubt it.

Wars are started and ended by rich arseholes in plush offices thousands of miles from the fighting, they decide when you die, not god or fate.

War is shit, unfortunately it's a fact of life and something that will never cease so I have to look on it objectively and say that I would take up arms to defend my country, or a close neighbour such as England or Wales but I wouldn't be fucking happy about it, I would only invade another country for it's resources or military positioning if the prick that thought it was a good idea in the first place was put on the plane right next to me.

(I'll leave the Scots to it, every bloody film that's came out of Scotland in the past 20 years has had nothing but Romans, Vikings and the English heading South faster than Kebab Shop shares, not too many would give it a go now.)




Don't be proud Jalapenoman.

Be sad.

J-Man:

Not only did I serve, but I served as a combatant corpsman (USN) with the 1st RECON BN, 1stMARDIV, in SE Asia. With the 1st of the IIIrd Marines, I served as a non-combatant hospital corpsman in Vietnam, stationed in DaNang out of the MACV.

Oh, and by the way, when I'm not warming up a hospital bed at the Huntington WV VA Medical Center, I live at the West Virginia Veterans Home in Barboursville WV.

Fuck you if you don't like it-- or me! I truly mean that.

Having written that, however, let me tell you that when I was wounded and returned home in June 1973, I hated all anti-war protestors. It took me more than thirty years to realize that all of us who were alive, and of military age in the Vietnam Era, served in that war, one one side of the issue or the other.

Once that sunk into my thick skull, I went out a bought a hippie a Jose Q. Really, I did! I grabbed that sumbeech by his fucking ponytail and dragged him into a biker bar where he fit in really well with all my fellow Vietnam Veterans Motorcycle Club members.

I do not believe in the war we are waging in Iraq at all. It was, IMHO, just a pissing contest between George W and Suddam due to the fact that Saddam put a contract out on GHW Bush. Afghanistan, well, we need to either fuck em or forgive em. Either way, there is nothing in either of those shitholes worth a drop of American blood.

And fuck you if you don't like that statement. I paid for my right to speak about wars, goddammit.

Love and kisses,
Frankie

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Quote: Jalapenoman

This should explain to you the meaning of SFO's last line in case you did not understand.

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Thanks for disseminating that information, J-Man.

My double entendre probably sounded queer until you explained it.

I'm sorry this was an issue for you, but I'm glad you brought it out in the open.

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Quote: Frankie The J

Fuck you if you don't like it-- or me! I truly mean that.


Love and kisses,
Frankie

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Hello, Frankie.
Fuck you. That hippie was my FATHER!!!!!!
Hope you're keeping well.
Goodbye.

JB:

He was wearing an "I boned your momma!" tee.

Feeling much better, thank you!

That'd be him alright.
Worryingly, my uncles and several neighbour's also wear similar t-shirts....

Hi Frankie...

We aint met

But I know a bit about you..

You're famous round these parts....

I also know a little bit about Skoobie..

Skoob's working today...

But he'd want me to send you his bests...

OK

CJ

Hey Frankie nice to see you writing - thought I'd say hello since I called by to collect a few articles

You're missing the option "I don't know".

Jason Bourne

Frankie,
My old man was a corpsman stationed at a hospital in DaNang. I served in the USN, luckily between Gulf wars.

Not I. I went for my physical and got the finger up the ass, but they sent me home. Later, though, I did work for a refinery during a time of war which prevents you from serving in the military because the military needs the oil to fight the battles. From what I gather, working in a refinery is similar to serving in the military. With the bolts breaking off and shooting at you from high pressure and lack of maintenance, it's similar to being shot at or having grenades thrown at you, the explosions are sometimes larger than bombs, you have to be on watch all the time while on duty for saboteurs and booby traps. The burning heavy oil is similar to napalm. Well, maybe I DID serve in the military... just not officially.

Nope, but thank God there are those who have.

Land of The Free, DUE To The Brave, baby.

(And by the way, thanks, UK, for standing by US, even when we fuck up. Your loyalty is most cherished.)