Discussion Forum

Post your fav Ted Kennedy epitaphs here...

I'd rather go hunting with Dick Cheney than for a drive with Ted Kennedy!!

BBC obit commentator

He was not the first to suffer a seizure after President Barack Obama's inauguration.

and

Where he is going he will not at least meet up with Mary Jo.

Daily Mail

"We've lost the irreplaceable center of our family and joyous light in our lives, but the inspiration of his faith, optimism, and perseverance will live on in our hearts forever," his family said in a statement.

"We thank everyone who gave him care and support over this last year, and everyone who stood with him for so many years in his tireless march for progress toward justice, fairness and opportunity for all. He loved this country and devoted his life to serving it."

Watch out for that hearse, it's lost control!

"Mary Jo, Hang on! I'll be right back!"

---

Quote: Earl Grey

Watch out for that hearse, it's lost control!

---

LOL

"If Ted Kennedy had been driving a Volkswagen, he'd be President today."

Spoof Ad from National Lampoon c. 1972.

I wonder if he will be buried at sea?

Will they also put down his dog, "Splash"?

Look for the "Ted Kennedy National Healthcare Plan" coming soon if not already proposed in congress.

"Ted The Head Kennedy's Head To Join That Of Ted The Head Williams at Cryonics Center!"

-Bureau


"A government big enough to give you everything you
want is strong enough to take everything you have."

I posted this in the celebrity diary section as a "Jesus" diary entry:

They say "you can't take it with you," but somehow, Ted Kennedy showed up at the Pearly Gates with a bottle of scotch in his hand. He was yelling and blubbering and just being a lousy drunk because St. Peter told him that he wasn't on the list.

The old sot is lucky that the clouds are soft, because he kept falling over and couldn't stand up straight.

I made a call to Angel Mary Jo and asked her if she wanted to see him outside the Pearly Gates before the Fire and Brimstone Express Train came by to pick him up. In response, she asked me if the train crossed any bridges on it's way to Hell.

I guess old Teddy's lucky that he medical care for the past ten years wasn't under the Obama health plan, because he'd have been avoiding the flames and pitchforks for nine years already.

Lucifer's really going to enjoy this one, because alcohol burns long and hot and he does have a lot built up in his system.

I remember when Old Scratch got his older brother, JFK, back in '63. He told him that he was sending him to a wienie roast in the Pig Roast section. Of course, it was his wiener that was being roasted by the soldiers he screwed over in the Bay of Pigs invasion.

Yeah, Satan will have fun with this one too. Teddy's earned his spot.

And here's the Kennedy themed diary entry for The Pope:

I got called away from my private "altar boy" time with the news that another famous Catholic has died. This time, it was Ted Kennedy in the United States. They ruined my "instructional" time with Pedro for this?

Okay, tell the Secretary to send the usual form letter and I'll sign it later.

Since it was Ted Kennedy, of course, I'll have to have a drink in his honor...probably Irish Wiskey or a Boston Lager.

If I had my secretary say in the letter she types for me that "Ted Kennedy bridged the gap between the old guard politicians and the new ones," I wonder if anyone would notice that I used the "B" word?

I hope the Keeper of the Gate makes that fat ass swim across the River Jordan!

Nope, Teddy will be left on the wrong side of the River Styx.

---

Quote: Earl Grey

Watch out for that hearse, it's lost control!

---

Will they have to embalm Teddy or just comb his hair?

For those of you who are STILL unsure of the legacy of Ted Kennedy,
take the time to read the following article, extensive, published in
1990 by Michael Kelly in GQ magazine. Kelly was later the first correspondent killed in the Iraq war.

The piece is meticulously researched and backed up with interviews and comments. Also prominently mentioned is another famous drinker, womanizer and boor, Chris Dodd who helped push along the mortgage melt down mess...

after you read this, you can understand a little better why we are all considered:
'just the little people'

I wonder if Kelly was the victim of friendly fire!

Google:

Michael Kelly/ GQ magazine : A Sober view of Ted Kennedy. 1990

Has anyone noticed Ted Kennedy's son Patrick? He's a congressman from Rhode Island, (which must have the same gene pool as Massachucetts)

There are some people that at first glance you know are assholes. It might be their facial expression, their demeanor, or just their aura. But Patrick Kennedy actually looks like an asshole. The was the one that's been to druggie rehab a few times in the past too. Like father-like son.

PS: RI is in worse shape than MA....
they just announced they were shutting down govt. for 12 days for lack of money....

Unless they were taking a break for REHAB

RI also known for the infamous Raymond Patriarca Crime Family where he sat in front of his candy store and did business...

As The World Turns...

Morse

---

Quote: victor nicholas

---

Quote: Earl Grey

Watch out for that hearse, it's lost control!

---

Will they have to embalm Teddy or just comb his hair?

---

He's been embalmed for decades. Did it himself.

Think they will just polish him up a little. It will be the best he's looked it years.