Discussion Forum

Dear Mark,

Every time I log on to the Spoof forum I find myself assailed by an avatar of a weirdo in a long coat.

A little bloke with a funny head.

Sort of sinister.

Can you help me?

Regards

Skoob

Don't worry about him, Skoob. He's just a flasher, but he's only got a tiny penis. Just giggle and point and he'll turn red and go away.

Thanks for that J Man

I was getting really worried

Regards


Skoob

Actually, it's two dwarf avatars...One is standing on the other's shoulders.

Thanks for the intel Buckwheat.

Regards

Skoob

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Quote: Jalapenoman

Don't worry about him, Skoob. He's just a flasher, but he's only got a tiny penis. Just giggle and point and he'll turn red and go away.

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JMan: look closer, I think IT IS a penis in a raincoat!

That's ME man!

A penis in a raincoat.

I thought you guys would never work it out.

But you have.

Fair play to you.

Kindest Regards

Skoob

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Quote: Jalapenoman

Don't worry about him, Skoob. He's just a flasher, but he's only got a tiny penis. Just giggle and point and he'll turn red and go away.

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I thought that was a picture of a tiny penis!
Looks like the rubber has a tear in it too.

Sorry Morse.. I read the thread in chronological order. Silly me.. logical! Anyway, we must be right then.

I forgot the postscript: A penis who must have carpeltunnel by now...how come these UNION GUYS have so much time on their hands! I introduced Birbee to the Spoof forum and now I can't even get a word in edgewise...anyway, it's said no GOOD DEED goes unpublished!!! Don't forget guys, you can still get married AND divorced in good old Massachusetts...I'm sure Mrs. Skoob must have grounds by now!

Keep it up guys, at least I get to read 'em and get a chuckle! Yours in Financial Pain, Morse

Cheers Morse

I'm getting divorced in Massachusetts next Tuesday because I fucked up on the Valentine's Day dinner I cooked.

Spuds - inedible.

Mushrooms - not too bad.

Onions - burnt to a fucking crisp.

Sirloin steaks - okay, but rare as opposed to medium to well.

Disaster!!!

Where's that fucking Gordon Ramsay when you need him? Fucking nowhere, the twat!!

Best Regards

Skoob.

Skoob: doesn't sound good! Are you rushing, or do you have attention deficient syndrome?
Mdm. Morse is a great cook, but since early "retirement" 3 1/2 years ago I have taken over the cooking. Still have the well seasoned black cast iron frying pans from my grandmother....

When she took her trans atlantic in Oct. and toured UK for 2 weeks me and the Dog had a great time cooking for one, plus a few table scraps"

1. Roast Duckling stuffed with apples and raisins
2. authentic spare ribs and sauerkraut cooked with apples/onions and white wine
3. Quail breasts wrapped with bacon(harvested by yours truly)
4. Chicken Marsala (pounded chicken breasts) breaded with Panko, cooked in butter and deglazed with Marsala wine served with oil/garlic thin spagetti
5.Filet Mignon (we buy the whole slab at Costco and cut servings) topped with sauteed mushrooms and onions and a bit of beef bouilon for sauce
6.Shrimp Scampi and thin linguini in oil/garlic/lemon juice
7. Sauteed Chicken livers, onions, and hot and sweet sausage with oil/lemon juice, italian bread and a jug of red wine
8. ETC.
....better send Mrs. Skoob round the next time Mdm. Morse takes off...
poor woman probably needs a good meal from time to time...I thought you guys had all those famous chefs and their Tely shows over there?

If I can get enough money, maybe I'll cook for he reunion Buck is hosting in his back yard...I think he's trying to drive his neighbors out anyway!

Yours in the Kitchen
As Ever
And Always
Regards,
Morse.

Yes, I'll cook! We'll have roasted venison. Pig in the ground. Some really fine taters 'n sausage...And wash it all down with a few swigs of Tennessee White Light'n!

Morse my friend

Me and Mrs Skoob aren't communicating too well at the moment.

She's on that brain training thing again.

It's a long story.

But I'm reasonably sure she'll come around to my way of thinking.

Eventually.

Kindest Regards

Skoob

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Quote: BuckwheatsButt

Yes, I'll cook! We'll have roasted venison. Pig in the ground. Some really fine taters 'n sausage...And wash it all down with a few swigs of Tennessee White Light'n!

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....and some shrimp and grits, deep fried oysters, deep fried green tomatoes,
possum au gratin, pussy in a blanket, Appalachacola fresh oysters on ice,
stone crab from the Keys, and a peck of steamed crabs spread on newspapers for pickin'....better put some beer on tap, Buck!

Had a venison dinner about 8 years ago from a deer I got and shared with "the boys"...did 4 different venison dishes....and there was nothing left...them Mainer's can flat out eat venison...and don't bother with the veggies!

I want Mdm. Bitters to bake the Fortune Cookies and put some of them good
fortunes in 'em like:

*You'll be a top 5 writer soon....

*Your ass is so cute you could be a Manchester footballer!

*Stop whining, your dick is what it is!

*Stop looking at my BUNS!

*If you can't stand the heat in my kitchen, take your f****g clothes off!

*STOP! Don't even think about putting that thang there!

*JESUS! Budda...you're kinda cute in a knarly kinda way!

etc.

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Quote: Morse

I want Mdm. Bitters to bake the Fortune Cookies and put some of them good
fortunes in 'em like:

*You'll be a top 5 writer soon....

*Your ass is so cute you could be a Manchester footballer!

*Stop whining, your dick is what it is!

*Stop looking at my BUNS!

*If you can't stand the heat in my kitchen, take your f****g clothes off!

*STOP! Don't even think about putting that thang there!

*JESUS! Budda...you're kinda cute in a knarly kinda way!

etc.

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Beleive it or not, I've made fortune cookies before. They looked like tacos, so putting fortunes in them was out of the question.

But if I had, they probably would have been like the ones Morse listed above. With the exception of the Manchester football fortune, of course.

We Texans do like our football, but not your football. We call that soccer, and most Americans would rather watch a Cirque Soleil performance than a soccer match.

So I would modify that one to be: Your ass is so cute it could be Tom Brady's. The rest are spot on. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!

Some other ones:

*Is that a meat baster in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

*You are going to die on a Tuesday

*She knows!

*The hair on your head is slowly migrating from your scalp to your back and ears.

*That fresh whipped cream I made is for the strawberry shortcake! It's not for that....purpose.

*The island in my kitchen is for food preperation ONLY. It's not for that...purpose.

*You get me really hot- oh, wait, it's just the oven I'm standing next to.

Mdm. Bitters:

I knew I could count on you to pick up the slack!