Discussion Forum

Ignore that.

Idiot's obviously schizo...

Bastard.

Regards

Skoob.

You are one miserable little woman-hating hack, admit it.
Wassamatter, break up with your boyfriend?

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THANKS FOR OUTING ME CHARPA93!!!!
RIGHT IN FRONT OF ALL THE SPOOF READERSHIP!!!
WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST OPEN YOUR WINDOW AND SHOUT IT OUT TO THE WHOLE WORLD!!!!

Here I am in my lonely room day after day writing spoofs that appear for a few days and then disappear into that great Internet abyss. Alone. Lonely. No one to love. No one to care for.

Here above the Hunk-A-Dunk Men's Fitness Center.

Where every day virile, hard bodied, gorgeous men come in and out after pumping their bodies in all sorts of exciting ways. Making themselves brawnier. Making themselves bigger. Making themselves harder. In oh, so many ways.
And I am above them. Lonely and alone. And my mind begins to wander down pathways I never knew existed. I begin to fantasize in forbidden, illicit ways. I begin to think of their sweaty, tight chest, powerful legs, bulging pectorals,
and other bulging things. Soon I am awash in sinful lusts of the damning kind. Soon it was too late.

Can you blame me?

AND NOW YOU'VE EXPOSED ME TO THE WORLD!!!!
THIS PROVES THE EVIL THAT WOMEN ARE CAPABLE OF!!!

AND NO, L. GODIVA, HE WAS NOT TALLER THAN ME!
HE WAS SHORT AND STUBBY!!!!
IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE!!!

Cagey cannibalistic concubineal creatures in the Creators creation! Wrackedly womanly wombats wrecking ruin in whatever wrath they revel in! Horrendously harping Harpies manifesting havoc in hellaciously harrowing hells!

Good. It would seem my job here is done.

Charpa93

I don't know about anybody else out there, but after reading all this whodat I think I better go back and read "To The Lighthouse" all over again.

Either that, or seriously start thinking about signing up for some extension courses at the Bob Flanagan Institute of Technical Show How.

Hopefully, before it's time to either start organizing my taxes and/or come up with yet another reason why not to watch the Oscars.

jp.

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Quote: Charpa93

Good. It would seem my job here is done.

Charpa93

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(Sniff)
You're so cruel!
All women are batches...er....botches...er...butches....wait a minute....betches.....
Oh, whatever!

Wow! rfreed you are now 'truly freed'. I'm sure if you joined the fitness club below you- you'd soon be buff. Don't forget to cover your body in oil.

Then, before you know it, you'll find a new boyfriend and go hand in hand into the sunset and live happily ever after.

Now wipe your eyes and squeeze into your spandex.

Go get 'em tiger!

Lady G. (Sex Therapist by night)

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Quote: rfreed

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Quote: Charpa93

Good. It would seem my job here is done.

Charpa93

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(Sniff)
You're so cruel!
All women are batches...er....botches...er...butches....wait a minute....betches.....
Oh, whatever!

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Typical man. You kick up some dust, ask for a whuppin and when you get it, it's always the woman's fault. Fickle, rfreed, that's what you are, fickle. I thought you were a better adversary than that.

Charpa

Yes, it is true, I am in need of a good spanking...
Morse, send me your phone number!

But, ladies, if you have the slightest shred of mercy in you, there is one thing that could save me from a life of misdirected lust seeking, from the torment of searching for love in all the wrong places, from the agony of unrequited lust.

That is the love of a true woman.

Only that can pull me out the the pit of depravity that I have fallen into. Just like the Beast in Disney's 'Beauty and the Beast' a woman who can see beyond a wretched exterior could save a drowning man's soul. It has been known throughout history that the passion of a female can change the entire universe if it is unleashed. Yes, you all could be the angels that perform just such a rescue. And here is how:

Just send me bikini or nudie shots of yourselves to this address;
Rfreed, 4632 Lecher Lane, Fairbanks, Alaska 99709
(Be sure to send it express!)
I will deeply contemplate the submissions and see if they are able to penetrate the deeply engramed sinful ruts of my mind and touch upon a new erotic chord that would save me from the damnation of Sodom and Gomorrah like actions and return me to the true and righteous path of heterosexuality.
Perhaps the purveying of your lovely images will return my senses to their proper channels of longing for the sensual curves of the female form and help me to forget that of the left over plumbing of the masculine. Maybe it will drill a pathway into an inner well of sensuality that will erupt from me like a volcano and lead me to the more satisfying revelation of the joy of male/female bonding.
Remember, only you can help save me from this abyss of dark emotions.

If not, then you guys send me some and I'll see how that works.

And Dearest Skoob,
Due to my being internationally outed by Charpa The Hutt I am an emotional wreck.
I would not be able to engage you in the moment in any form of fisticuffs be they physical or verbal.
I must retreat for a while to bandage the scars upon my poor emotions.

When that's over, though, I'm coming for your butt!!
(In more ways than one!)

MOTHER MAMMARY TWEAKER!!!!
BARMY BOLLOCKS BASTARD!!!

Dearest rfreed

Thank you so much for your kind communication on the 22nd at 18:30 GMT

In response: BOLLOCKS! YOU NUTTER!

Alaska.

Alaska what?

Alaska what time tea's ready.

Arf arf.

Heh-heh!

Sorted!

Regards

Skoob.

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Quote: Skoob1999

Dearest rfreed

Thank you so much for your kind communication on the 22nd at 18:30 GMT

In response: BOLLOCKS! YOU NUTTER!

Alaska.

Alaska what?

Alaska what time tea's ready.

Arf arf.

Heh-heh!

Sorted!

Regards

Skoob.

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Skoob: I'll be out ReFried's way in late August....I'll bring your leather jerkin
pictures for him to peruse...the one with yer hat and the black socks....

Boy needs a wuppin....I'll do it for the girls...they'll all git off onnit, I betcha!!

can't wait for the reindeer sausage and Alaskan Omelet...

Mukluk Morse

rfreed, You are what you are and that's all that you are you're rfreed the Gay Spoof Guy.

(To be sung to the tune of Popeye The Sailor Man).

It is pure folly to think that you can switch from loving men to loving women. Don't waste your precious time. Be proud of who you are. Carry the Rainbow flag proudly and enjoy wearing your leather studded g-string.

I can put you in touch with some lovely guys who live in Toronto. One of my daughter's friends is professionally known as Lady Gay Gay and he looks GORGEOUS in his drag queen outfits. I wish I looked as good as he does!!!

Anyway, think about it.

I shall pass through this world but once.
Any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature
Let me do it now.
Let me not defer or neglect it
For I shall not pass this way again.

Anon.

Don't listen to the bollocks who try to change you.
They're only bloody jealous coz NO-ONE loves 'em.

Lady G.

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Quote: rfreed

Yes, it is true, I am in need of a good spanking...
Morse, send me your phone number!

But, ladies, if you have the slightest shred of mercy in you, there is one thing that could save me from a life of misdirected lust seeking, from the torment of searching for love in all the wrong places, from the agony of unrequited lust.

That is the love of a true woman.

Only that can pull me out the the pit of depravity that I have fallen into. Just like the Beast in Disney's 'Beauty and the Beast' a woman who can see beyond a wretched exterior could save a drowning man's soul. It has been known throughout history that the passion of a female can change the entire universe if it is unleashed. Yes, you all could be the angels that perform just such a rescue. And here is how:

Just send me bikini or nudie shots of yourselves to this address;
Rfreed, 4632 Lecher Lane, Fairbanks, Alaska 99709
(Be sure to send it express!)
I will deeply contemplate the submissions and see if they are able to penetrate the deeply engramed sinful ruts of my mind and touch upon a new erotic chord that would save me from the damnation of Sodom and Gomorrah like actions and return me to the true and righteous path of heterosexuality.
Perhaps the purveying of your lovely images will return my senses to their proper channels of longing for the sensual curves of the female form and help me to forget that of the left over plumbing of the masculine. Maybe it will drill a pathway into an inner well of sensuality that will erupt from me like a volcano and lead me to the more satisfying revelation of the joy of male/female bonding.
Remember, only you can help save me from this abyss of dark emotions.

If not, then you guys send me some and I'll see how that works.

---

Oh yah, great way to snag a woman. If you need lessons, I'll consider having pity on your wretched soul just to rid the world of one more misogynist.

P.S. there are plenty of websites you can go to for your nudie shots. Doubt you'd get a woman worth being with who'd jump at your offer, Mr. Oogie Boogie.

Kindest,
Charpa

Aww! Poor rfreed . He's crying out for love.

Lady G.

Help me guys, they're ganging up on me!

rfreed's alright.

I could care less if he's gay or straight, or got a thing for hamsters.

It's his business.

I'm not homophobic.

Except in one case...

Which I won't go into here.

Not even in a gay way.

My seals are lipped.

Regards

Skoob.

Naw! I'm on your side 'freed. Well - in a supportive sense.

Lady G.

'Im in the long mac's just....well...I'm stuck for words for once. That's a bloody big coat though for a little fella. I reckon 'e's got a midget under there...and I don't mean 'is family jewels. I mean a real live midget.
Doing god knows what. Look at the expression on 'is mush.

"Ooh! Ooh! More of the same please mate!"

Lady G.

L. Godiva- I think your hats on a little too tight.
You're turning blue and it might be shutting off oxygen to your brain!

And Skoob,
please don't bring the hamsters into this too. Its bad enough as it is

Don't have any pity on rfreed. I have it on good authority that he is just baiting you Skoob and LG. Just when your guard is down and you feel a bit sorry for him, he'll call you the most awful names. Don't fall for it.

As for you rfreed. This thread is entitled "Let's Have a Flame Up! Perfect title for a flamer eh?

You can quit anytime you like but until you cry uncle (and not in a gay way) the gloves are off.

I, for one, am not buying your sad sack story.

Charpa

Oh, and I also have it on good authority that you are not gay. You just want to play that card for more sympathy. Nice try amiga.

Beware! The hamsters from HELL will eat you all!!! Flame throwers for eyes, teeth like razers. No Hamster wheel can hold them!

Flame Flame Flame! How was that? Gotta go. Run Away! Run Away!!!

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Quote: Jean Le Fete

Beware! The hamsters from HELL will eat you all!!! Flame throwers for eyes, teeth like razers. No Hamster wheel can hold them!

Flame Flame Flame! How was that? Gotta go. Run Away! Run Away!!!

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It's the sword swallowers like rfreed you need to be worried about. Hamsters, of course, but sword swallowers are equally feared.

OK Charpa, I'll take your word for it. He's even a bigger CAD if he is pretending to be gay just for attention.

I'm on my guard. There are so few of us 'lady writers' we MUST stick together at all costs or the buggers will take over the whole bloody site.

I'm with you 'sister'.

Sorry 'freed. You're on your own.

LG

Now see what you've done rfreed?

Damn!
Women are getting too smart these days!
Why did we ever allow them to read and get an education?
Oh, I remember- because we needed secretaries!



WHY HAMSTERS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

They are always nice and furry and fluffy.
They squeak really nice.
They are happy just having pellets to eat and clean grass for furniture.
They are always there for you.
They don't say "Not now, I have a headache".
They don't need a fur coat- they already have one.
They don't need your money, although they will eat it if you give it to them.
They can't talk.
They're satisfied with a little cage for a house- (try putting a regular woman in a cage. I still have scratch marks.)
THEY DON'T B*TCH!!!!!!!