Discussion Forum

Women!
First we let them learn to read.
Then we let them vote.
Then we let them wear pants.
Then we let them work jobs.
Then we let them use our flush toilets.
Then we let them become candidates.
Now because of all this they think they have cajones (look it up in a Spanish dictionary) too, especially since we let them wear pants.
Pretty soon all the women will turn gay and men will be an endangered species.

Or is it too late already?

Beyond late.

As in, so (many months/years/hell, decades) yesterday.

(Give or take the usual inch, here and there, that can't help but soon enough turn into yet one more mile, during which, you know who fails to ask for any sort of reasonable and/or worthwhile directions.)

jp.

Pardon?

Lady G.

By the way...I don't vote. I don't trust any of those bloody politicians, male OR female.

Admit it is true!!!
Come on, we all know the lot of you are all closet Sapphos just waiting for your chance to have all men neutered so you can take over. Then we will be collared like a dog. and told to heel.

Carbon based, womb possessing drama queens!

No. That's were you have ME wrong, or perhaps you have meRIGHT I couldn't care less what ALL men do but Mr. Godiva does laundry, grocery shopping, is a bloody good cook too, also washes the pots AND HE'S NO WIMP!

He just figured that if he didn't do the above

a) He'd never have clean clothes
b) He'd never eat
c) If I DID cook - he wouldn't be eating of clean plates
d) There'd never be any food in the house

I made myself redundant (in more ways that one it now appears).

I have many women friends who'd like to swap their hubbies for mine...but hell's bells - it took years of training (or reverse psychology) so he's going nowhere.

It took a long time and I was very cunning, he didn't even realise what was happening until it was too late and now he is so 'conditioned' that it's all just part of daily life around our house.

There's a BOOK in there somewhere. Hmmm!

Lady G.

I work with a woman from York.

Toughest man in the office.

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Quote: Lady Godiva

No..I'm from bloody Yorkshire! (Originally)
I thought you'd recognize the accent!

Lady G.

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I work with a man in San Francisco.

He's the toughest woman in the office.

SEE! SEE!
SHE'S ALREADY GOT HIM TRAINED AND ON A LEASH!
THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE GOING TO DO TO THE WHOLE LOT OF US GUYS!
GET SMART NOW AND WATCH OUT FOR THEM!
GET KEVLAR ENFORCED JOCK PROTECTORS NOW FOR YOUR CAJONES BECAUSE THEY ARE OUT TO GET THEM!

Not being pedantic, rfreed, but I think you'll find the word is "cojones."

It's all bollocks anyway.

Regards

Skoob.

Having said what I said above, Mr. G. spends a helluva lo' o' time at the pub. Also, I have to 'make an appointment' if I want to talk to him. I don't carry cash or debit cards. That's not allowed. So it's really a lose/lose arrangement.

Still, I don't have to cook, do the dishes or laundry. You can't have it ALL.

Lady G.

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Quote: Lady Godiva

Having said what I said above, Mr. G. spends a helluva lo' o' time at the pub. Also, I have to 'make an appointment' if I want to talk to him. I don't carry cash or debit cards. That's not allowed. So it's really a lose/lose arrangement.

Still, I don't have to cook, do the dishes or laundry. You can't have it ALL.

Lady G.

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What!!!????


The bastard is in the pub all the time instead of taking care of his manly duties??!




Please tell him I am in awe, and I salute him.

Fergus.

TOSOG.

"You say cojones, I say cajones,
let's call the whole things off!"

OK, enough of this B.S.
Lets get back to tearing each other apart literally like this thread was intended.

B.S. bollocking, cojone crunching, maggotty meally mouthed marmots, wickedly wrenching wenches, literally lucid liteganeous lechers!

Fergus...if you could see the REAL ME...you would wonder why he'd spend so much time at the pub. Bollocks to those of you who wish your wives looked the way they did when they married you. The count is in the millions.

Buy a Full Length mirror and take a good look at yourselves, full frontal AND sideways.

Crikey...it's a wonder all married women who have celebrated their 25 year 'survival' anniversary, aren't all lesbians. Take it from me...some ARE...and others are in the planning stages....

Lady G.

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Quote: Skoob1999

Not being pedantic, rfreed, but I think you'll find the word is "cojones."

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Actually, cajon means "box," which refers to the contents of cajones in much the same way a woman's "box" or a man's "nuts" refer to what's inside.

So you're right about one thing, Dad, it's all bullocks.



Anyway, I don't have time to be flaming up in this here thread. My bollocks are on fire.

I've met a wonderful lady with a full figure who is just a bit taller than me, but extraordinarily lovely.

Incidentally, a Spanish expression for "big booty" is mucha grasa para los huevos, or a lot of grease to fry your "eggs," a.k.a. bollocks.

Tell mom, a.k.a. Mrs. Skoob, not to expect any Spoof grandkids anytime soon though. Box or no box, these contents will be put somewhere safe.

Regards,

Your son.

SFO - IT IS "Just a bit taller than I." not me.

Sorry, I clicked into 'teacher mode' then. Please either forgive me or learn from me. If you need further information on my comment and grammar lesson, feel free to PM me.

You are excused, somewhat, being of the American persuasion.

Lady G.

L.G.,

In America, it's "taller than me," not "I."

"She is taller than I am" is a little bit different than "she is taller than me."

Sorry about that. For a second, I clicked into know-it-all mode.

Thanks for the outlet! Wouldn't want to let that out in front of the new Mrs. - she's a bit taller than I am.

Come on!
Quit with the gabbing!
Bring it on!
I'll fight the whole lot of ye with one typing finger tied behind my back!

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Quote: rfreed

I'll fight the whole lot of ye with one typing finger tied behind my back!

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Or you could use it to fire rifle shots at wolves from Sarah Palin's helicopter.

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Quote: rfreed

Come on!
Quit with the gabbing!
Bring it on!
I'll fight the whole lot of ye with one typing finger tied behind my back!

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You are one miserable little woman-hating hack, admit it.
Wassamatter, break up with your boyfriend?

Oh, Oh!
How did you find that out?
Did that little wussie snitch on me?
Did he post pictures on YouTube again?
Ohh, I'm going to bitch slap him so bad!

Back to grammar (and NO...to my American readers, I DON'T MEAN GRANDMA).

When we of the English persuasion say, 'He is taller than I", the 'am' is understood.

I'd better watch myself hadn't I? Americans are allowed to 'bear arms' where we Brits. are only allowed to 'bare arms'.

Lady G.

Sorry to hear about you breaking up with your boyfriend. Was he taller than you?

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Quote: Lady Godiva

SFO - IT IS "Just a bit taller than I." not me.

Sorry, I clicked into 'teacher mode' then. Please either forgive me or learn from me. If you need further information on my comment and grammar lesson, feel free to PM me.

You are excused, somewhat, being of the American persuasion.

Lady G.

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....not to worry...he loves to be spanked....recessive Brit Gene manifesting itself in parts of the western colonies........

Bastards the lot of you. I am much taller than me.

Churchmouse...that bloody picture (avatar) freaks me out. I HATE ventriloquists dummies with a passion. Not so fond of nuns either. No offence! I bet you are really cute in real life "


Or should I say 'Bonjour. Je n'aime pas l'avatar'. L'avatar freaketh moi out!"

Lady G.

Good evening you bastards.

I'm really angry at the moment.

Looking for a fight.

No holds barred.

Eh?

Eh?

You want some?

Bastards...

Shuttlecock.