Discussion Forum

Trivets are the new black.

You heard it here first.

I had purebred trivets for many years and enjoyed racing them.

They made for excellent house pets as well.

I absolutely refuse to join in with this silliness.

MW, I agree this high brow intellectual comedy is rather strenuous on my retinas!

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Quote: victor nicholas

I had purebred trivets for many years and enjoyed racing them.

They made for excellent house pets as well.

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Same here! Except for me, it was capybaras. And they weren't purebred. Neither did I race them. They were a nightmare in the house too. Apart from that, the capybara was to me what the trivet seems to have been for you.

They did frighten the vicar though, which was a boon.

Back on trivets per se, I particularly admire the trivet engravings of the Dutchman, Dirck Volkertszoon Coornhert (1522-1590). His series of "Merchants' interiors with trivets" is a constant delight. I am always discovering fresh nuances. The brooding intensity of his trivets is quite something.

Forgot to add:

for Coornhert, the stately trivet was a transcendental device, a portal to spiritual freedom. He said of a trivet inherited from a maternal Uncle that it was "a voluntary crowbar to the murderous prison of conscience."

I think we can all identify with that!

Oh, yes! I should say so!

I do believe one can get an LBW on certain brands of trivet, but then again it's only cricket. I tried a tricycle once and tripped, trifely annoying...LSD was better...

Standiing on a mountaintop in copper armour holding my trivet overhead.

Honour.

Bravery.

Virtue.

Alexander the Great eschewed the trivet; so many hard drinkers have turned up their ruddy noses at it. Hence, you will struggle to find any references to trivets in the story of Noah, ark-builder and wine-bibber: he was another to whom the trivet was a closed book.

Opium eaters, on the other hand, have often been great champions of the trivet. De Quincey said "would that I had not lost my old Nuncle's trivet; indeed, I can find no solace without it by me."

Do you think James Corden gives a fig for a trivet? I rest my case.

Trifle, yummy!

I care not for gardens
all bordered with privet.
I'd much rather stay in
and rub down my trivet.

Trivets are my favourite things;
They have so many uses.
A strong and sturdy trivet brings
Deep joy, and calm induces.

Drink makes your spirit sink
Eating's pleasure is fleeting
Whoring is ultimately boring
But triveting is truly riveting.

I now use a mashie
Instead of a trivet.
It's much easier to swing
And it doesn't leave a divit.

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Quote: Dr. Billingsgate

I now use a mashie
Instead of a trivet.
It's much easier to swing
And it doesn't leave a divit.

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Very nice. Very Ogden Nash.


If I think a gadget's nice
the foremost tribute I can give it
is to sing up in a trice
"yon gadget's as right as a trivet".

You can keep your feline friends
- your tabbies, pumas, lynx or civet;
I'm happy spending my weekends
in search of yet another trivet.

I was in a store in Llubjlana when a woman picked up some trivets and started singing loudly.

She seemed quite mad but then I don't speak Slovenian.

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Quote: victor nicholas

I was in a store in Llubjlana when a woman picked up some trivets and started singing loudly.

She seemed quite mad but then I don't speak Slovenian.

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You weren't in a rag and bottle shop were you? You get a lot of mad folk in those. I was once in one queuing up at the counter. The man to my right (it was a sideways queue) had an imaginary coelacanth in a bucket with him. He asked me if it bothered me. "Oh no", I replied. "You wouldn't know he was there at all."

"She", he corrected.

O let us praise the mighty trivet!
O sing of its strength and its sturdy support!
It far outperforms any tribute we give it:
Its grandeur reduces our folly to nought.

(from The Song of the Slovenian Trivetwright)

This thread is just trivet porn.

Subliminal suggestion I reckon.

Shameful.

Harrumph...

As I recall Paul's Twelfth letter to the Corinthians was loosely based on the idea of trivets as a metaphor for temperance and stability throughout life not to mention being a versatile kitchen device.

And Shakespeare of course:

"A trivet! A trivet! My kingdom for a trivet!"

"Thou foul thief, where hast thou stowed my trivet?"

"How weary, stale, flat and unprofitable
Seem to me all the trivets of this world"

The Bible of course is a rich vein for the miner of trivet-related material. But that is for another day.

Didn't Winston Churchill in his memoir say that, "One privet in the hand is worth two in the bush?"

Until Columbus most people believed that trivets could only be square and flat. Little could man have known that a whole new universe would unfold if one simply sailed west.

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Quote: Erskin Quint

And Shakespeare of course:

"A trivet! A trivet! My kingdom for a trivet!"

"Thou foul thief, where hast thou stowed my trivet?"

"How weary, stale, flat and unprofitable
Seem to me all the trivets of this world"

The Bible of course is a rich vein for the miner of trivet-related material. But that is for another day.

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