Discussion Forum

How Britain Lost the Colonies:


British troops marched in lines, dressed in bright red while the colonists hid behind bushes, up trees and used hog shit camouflage.

Snuff sneezes always gave away British positions.

George Washington on steroids!

British tea breaks in the middle of a battle.

Scones!

It was the scones I tell you.

Crumpets were the problem I tell you...crumpets!

LG

We forgot to pay the rent!





Arm xxx

Rodent ulcers!!

After the Boston Tea Party the British rode the Boston M.T.A (Underground) and like Charlie proceeded to get lost looking for Charing Cross station.

Yup! They got LOST coz MAN was leading them....

LG

Mohicans helped colonists right down to their last man!

Including the semi-colonists; who later moved to Canada.

I'm not sure that Britain did lose the colonies. I'm sure that they are still in the same place where we left them.

When you leave your car in the car park and walk away from it you haven't lost it unless someone pinches it while you're away. In which case you don't know that you've lost it until you come back for it.

I personally blame the Belgians, but only because they rarely get blamed for things.

Big-mouth Paul Revere just couldn't stop shouting, "The British Are Coming."

---

Quote: Gail Farrelly

Big-mouth Paul Revere just couldn't stop shouting, "The British Are Coming."

---

...and they made too much noise when they did...!

That's crap that is.

We gave up on the Americas when old Ma Shipton prophesied the coming of George W Bush.

And poor old Churchill - he somehow knew that McDonald's, Bill O'Reilly and The Osmonds were coming.

Harold Wilson once prophesied Michael Jackson in a delerium phase of influenza, but his thoughts were ruled out by MI6 as "highly improbable."

Give us some lager and we'll fight you on the boardwalk, down by the sea, and we'll star in the football grounds.

Or something

Regards

Skoob.

Actually, the Beatles took us back in 1964 British Invasion.

Now it's the Chinese.

In all fairness, you did give us the Marx Brothers, Some Like It Hot, The Out Of Towners, The Wizard Of Oz, Ed McBain, Hill Street Blues and The Simpsons.

Marvin Gaye, the Temps, Gil Scott Heron, Bureau, Abel, Catain Morse, and John Peurach...

So all in all, it ain't such a bad deal.

Regards

Skoob.

Oh, and some ships and boats and planes and a few bob and a whole bunch of people to fight the Austrian fella with the little moustache.

You'll do for me.

Skoob

We only gave up India when we finally got the secret recipe for curry

---

Quote: Skoob1999

In all fairness, you did give us the Marx Brothers, Some Like It Hot, The Out Of Towners, The Wizard Of Oz, Ed McBain, Hill Street Blues and The Simpsons.

Marvin Gaye, the Temps, Gil Scott Heron, Bureau, Abel, Catain Morse, and John Peurach...

So all in all, it ain't such a bad deal.

Regards

Skoob.

---

Skoob, you an Ed McBain fan?

Fat Ollie: Ah Yes!

Bureau

Read the vast bulk of them when I was at school or shortly thereafter.

Yes, marvellous writer - enjoyed his Evan Hunter stuff too.

Vastly underrated American writer who achieved worldwide success over decades, quite frequently because of what he didn't say.

The master of understatement. (RIP Sincerely)

Got his inspiration apparently from hanging out with friends at a Manhattan police station house.

Inspired Hill Street Blues, amongst other popular films.

Always loved his writing style - the less is more school.

Influenced me a great deal - although I wouldn't think he'd be too worried about having that on his CV.

One of the best ever.

Now - that Stephen King chappie - has he gone off the boil lately? Or is it me?

Answers on the back of a £50 note to Skoob@theSpoof.com.

As ever

Skoob.

The Deaf Man.

It was a choice
1. Keep Hong Kong, nice weather, great food
2. Keep USA, rubbish food covered in cheese and too big to vacuum every week.

Ben Franklin planting illegal metal minefields for lightning to strike.

Well they still have the Isle of Wight and parts of Cornwall.

General George Washington had three aces and General Lord Cornwallis had only one King.