Discussion Forum

Does anyone know of a way to turn a buck by writing this kind of material? Not that anyone in their right mind would read this muck. But stupid people have money too. I'm trying to think, but nothing happens.

Regards,

Dr. Billingsgate

Are you talking about being paid for writing the crap you just wrote above or something different?

Do tell.

Your friend,

Jesus Budda
X

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Quote: Dr. Billingsgate

Does anyone know of a way to turn a buck by writing this kind of material? Not that anyone in their right mind would read this muck. But stupid people have money too. I'm trying to think, but nothing happens.

Regards,

Dr. Billingsgate

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Dr. B

Depends on the going exchange rate in cow pies for crap!

I won't answer that question unless you send me some money. Wiring instructions to follow.

Just kidding! Just trying to figure out a way to make a buck and have some fun with my 12 Doctorate Degrees.

Regards,

Dr. B

Dr. B - people normally pay us for NOT writing this crap but we just keep on doing it!

PS. Dr. B are you really on the Galapagos islands? Cos I know them very well.

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Quote: Lynton

Dr. B - people normally pay us for NOT writing this crap but we just keep on doing it!

PS. Dr. B are you really on the Galapagos islands? Cos I know them very well.

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Quote: Dr. Billingsgate

Does anyone know of a way to turn a buck by writing this kind of material? Not that anyone in their right mind would read this muck. But stupid people have money too. I'm trying to think, but nothing happens.

Regards,

Dr. Billingsgate

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12 Doctorates and you can't figure this one out? Shame.
If there was a way to make money at writing this stuff, do you think we'd all be on here instead of out there spending our millions? No brainer, Dr.

I have never been to the Galapagos. I'm not sure if my shrink would allow me. I have tortoise-aphobia. Actually live in San Diego because they don't allow tortoises on the beaches.

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Quote: Lynton

Dr. B - people normally pay us for NOT writing this crap but we just keep on doing it!

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Who? How much? I'll stop writing now!

Mag Section Explains All!

Spoof Writer Declares for Free Agency; Hopes to be Offered $$$Millions by Rivals!

Written by Morse

(PS: the anwer is NO.)

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Quote: Charpa93

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Quote: Dr. Billingsgate

Does anyone know of a way to turn a buck by writing this kind of material? Not that anyone in their right mind would read this muck. But stupid people have money too. I'm trying to think, but nothing happens.

Regards,

Dr. Billingsgate

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12 Doctorates and you can't figure this one out? Shame.
If there was a way to make money at writing this stuff, do you think we'd all be on here instead of out there spending our millions? No brainer, Dr.

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My student loan payments are killing me. My mother told me that 11 Doctorates were quite enough. Why I needed a PhD in Taxidermy was questionable, since I didn't need it to stuff myself.

There might be.

If you can find a market. Like anything else. You have to send your work to the right people, once you've worked out who they are.

You have to need to write, because the chances of getting any reward other than satisfying that personal need are very small. It can happen, though.

At least here it's a great writers' community/forum, you can get your work published, and it's great practice if you use it right. It keeps you writing and you get the oxygen of feedback.

It's better than writing on your own, which is hellish hard.

Good humorous writing is actually in demand, but producing good enough work and competing with others is damned difficult.

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Quote: Erskin Quint

There might be.

If you can find a market. Like anything else. You have to send your work to the right people, once you've worked out who they are.

You have to need to write, because the chances of getting any reward other than satisfying that personal need are very small. It can happen, though.

At least here it's a great writers' community/forum, you can get your work published, and it's great practice if you use it right. It keeps you writing and you get the oxygen of feedback.

It's better than writing on your own, which is hellish hard.

Good humorous writing is actually in demand, but producing good enough work and competing with others is damned difficult.

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Thanks you for your words of wisdom. When in college I remember being encouraged by an English professor who wrote on the margin of my paper: "It is possible that you might be able to write for a living if you learn how to plagiarize better."

See? Now you're already giving away your secrets and your edge. Careful. Even writing for no compensation can be quite competitive.

Erskin don't encourage him!! He has 12 doctorates he could get a proper job

Hmmm.

Plagiarise sounds dramatic - but using your experience is a kind of plagiarisation. As is all writing - you're making use of other people in one way or another.

Of course, there's also the matter of writing in the right way for the right markets - which involves plagiarisation in the sense of making use of the right ideas in the right manner, of following the protocols.

In a way, the spoof is a microcosm of all this. You can get high in the chart by writing the right stuff about celebrities. You can remain in obscurity by being yourself and crafting brilliant magazine pieces. Can you write brilliantly AND get loads of hits? - that's a real challenge. If so, maybe you've got a chance to be a published/paid writer.

I reckon you've got to be yourself and put yourself into your writing first and foremost. Write in your own way. That might not make any money. To make money, you might have to write for a market first and foremost. That's a decent craft and a great achievement. It's also not real creative writing. Real creative writing is self-expression. If you can do both, you're a genius.

Van Gogh died penniless and by his own hand. Kafka hardly published anything before his death. Jordan makes loads of dosh from her books.

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Quote: Charpa93

See? Now you're already giving away your secrets and your edge. Careful. Even writing for no compensation can be quite competitive.

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I have been victimized once again. By the way, I have PhD's in 12 disciplines, including animal husbandry and taxidermy. Do you think I should continue to write about jack-ass politicians or what?

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Quote: Erskin Quint

Hmmm.

Plagiarise sounds dramatic - but using your experience is a kind of plagiarisation. As is all writing - you're making use of other people in one way or another.

Of course, there's also the matter of writing in the right way for the right markets - which involves plagiarisation in the sense of making use of the right ideas in the right manner, of following the protocols.

In a way, the spoof is a microcosm of all this. You can get high in the chart by writing the right stuff about celebrities. You can remain in obscurity by being yourself and crafting brilliant magazine pieces. Can you write brilliantly AND get loads of hits? - that's a real challenge. If so, maybe you've got a chance to be a published/paid writer.

I reckon you've got to be yourself and put yourself into your writing first and foremost. Write in your own way. That might not make any money. To make money, you might have to write for a market first and foremost. That's a decent craft and a great achievement. It's also not real creative writing. Real creative writing is self-expression. If you can do both, you're a genius.

Van Gogh died penniless and by his own hand. Kafka hardly published anything before his death. Jordan makes loads of dosh from her books.

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Brilliant Erskin. Sure you're not the one with 12 doctorates?

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Quote: Lynton

Erskin don't encourage him!! He has 12 doctorates he could get a proper job

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If any of you want to pick up a quick doctorate or two, I suggest Lafontaine College in the Cayman Islands. I highly recommend it. Even though it has no campus, it takes at least two weeks to obtain your PhD. Not your normal diploma mill, you actually have to pick up your diploma in person. I suggest that you take off your scuba gear during commencement because of the warm temperature. It is rumored that the college is subsidized by Fidel Castro so that he can have a sufficient number of physicians to care for his people.

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Quote: Dr. Billingsgate

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Quote: Lynton

Erskin don't encourage him!! He has 12 doctorates he could get a proper job

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If any of you want to pick up a quick doctorate or two, I suggest Lafontaine College in the Cayman Islands. I highly recommend it. Even though it has no campus, it takes at least two weeks to obtain your PhD. Not your normal diploma mill, you actually have to pick up your diploma in person. I suggest that you take off your scuba gear during commencement because of the warm temperature. It is rumored that the college is subsidized by Fidel Castro so that he can have a sufficient number of physicians to care for his people.

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Dr. B

I am a PHD dropout, a few PHDs on the wall would look great!

Actually I don't want to paint the den and the wife wants it painted to cover the cracks, so 12 PHDs is probably a good number.

Philbert - 12 of anything is a good number.

A round dozen - as in eggs.

12 is a lovely number.

Unless you're a baker.

Regards

Skoob.

Apostles.

There were 12 of them and between them they wrote the biggest selling Spoof of all time, it's still in print 2000 years later.

See? It can be done.

Keep the faith.


Monkey Woods/Jesus Budda.

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Quote: Fergus McCarthy

Apostles.

There were 12 of them and between them they wrote the biggest selling Spoof of all time, it's still in print 2000 years later.

See? It can be done.

Keep the faith.


Monkey Woods/Jesus Budda.

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That Bible is an awful boring book but it has its uses.

Did you know, Fergus, that they use the leather bound version of it for shaking and tapping the contents of the watered down stuff they put in homeopathy mixtures?
Well know you do.

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Quote: Jesus Budda

Monkey Woods/Jesus Budda.

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That Bible is an awful boring book but it has its uses.

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Is one of them to dupe countless millions of morons into blind submission to a concept they can neither see, hear, touch nor taste? Is another to prop the door open when it's a bit windy?

Why are they always in your bedside drawer in hotels?

My dad's house is made of bibles, if you get them roughly the same size they can be stacked and set in much the same way as bricks. Nice bit of glue on the hardbacks and they stick together quite well, the insulation properties are amazing, you really do feel that God is all around.

He had a bit of a problem with the roof because.. well.. obviously it's difficult to cut a roof with books and he wanted to keep the place sort of holy and religious like, but he solved the problem by smiting a church and robbing the rafters.


He has a great sign on the front gate.

"Beware of the god"