Discussion Forum

My next news spoof will be my 100th. I've just about given up because I cannot find a topic worthy of such a round number as 100.

I've worn out Nancy Pelosi's vagina.
Pussy is getting passe.
Monsignor Francois Dubois, S.J. won't talk to me any longer.
Madame Bitters hid the bong and threw the bw at me when I approached her for an idea.
Skoob, my guru, ignores me.
Buck is above me--either thant, or I'm beneath his contempt.
Fergus thinks I'm nasty.
Monkey Woods stole my gal.
Smurfette is too tall in heels, plus that dildo is massive.
QM, never liked me.
Jmmy Buffet already wrote: "My head hurts; my feet stink; and I don't love Jesus."
All the good one's are taken (except me).
J-Man is untouchable now that he's got a really hot pecker.

I'm going InSeine.

Won't somebody help an old altar boy?

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Quote: Frankie The J

QM, never liked me.
?

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And WHO was the first to welcome you into the Forum's innards?

Tisk.

How fame and glory can alter a newby's perceptions as that first century approacheth.

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Quote: queen mudder

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Quote: Frankie The J

QM, never liked me.
?

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And WHO was the first to welcome you into the Forum's innards?

Tisk.

How fame and glory can alter a newby's perceptions as that first century approacheth.

---

Twas you, it's twu!
As is my love for only you.

And if you're married, have you a line on a twuly easy sleazy women whith a 28' bass boat. Send me a photo of the boat, woncha QM.

Nah, you just want to dress up in my avatar tu-tu...

Frankie,

Don't ever say I'd desert you in your hour of need. That would be misrepresentation.

I once ran out of ideas myself, so I wrote a spoof about a spoof writer who ran out of ideas.

Failing that, you could run a story about Aston Villa tanking Liverpool 3-1 at Anfield, like they did tonight.

Even if you know nothing about football, (soccer) the Scousers getting mangled in their own back yard is gonna make an entertaining read.

Regards

Skoob.

Frankie, I always carry a big old purse with a scented hanky, my medicinal alcohol, a tablespoon, and these stories just in case someone comes up with writer's block:

Obama Takes Out Contract on America
Innocent Until Proven Groovey!
Veitnam Mourns Death of America's Most Trusted Communist-(Walter Cronkite)
Cheney Told CIA Not To Discuss Progam-(think TV)
Nosey(SIC) Demonstrators Disrupt Gay Wedding
Super Heros Exposed After Freedom Of Information Request
New Health Care Bill Requires Mamograms for Men
Obama's Release of Shuttle Atlantis' Classified Phone Number
Cheney, Obama to Star in Revival of Annie Get Your Gun!
Crazy Barry's Used Terrorist Store
Bill and Hillary Head for the Tall Grass as OBama Administraion Implodes

Mark hates it when I do this so let's just keep it to ourselves.

"Fergus thinks I'm nasty"


You have no idea what I think. Only Jesus Budda, Monkey Woods, Duncan, Earl Grey and.....Wait for it..........Myslef, could possibly know what I'm thinking.

I'm sure they'll let me know when it's their turn to have a go.


Why would you say such things? You've already upset the QM. You know how sensitive we are and you just jackboot your way in here making assumptions about people!

It'll take weeks now before the QM feels up to sending me her dirty pm's again. I don't mind too much but Jalapenoman and Buck'll be livid.


No. Not nasty.

Chew a clove of garlic, it'll take your mind of the writer's block.

Good for you too.

Do a bit of work. Manual labour type stuff, sweep up, paint the gate, wash the wife.

You'll soon get sick of it and be back indoors tapping away like the duracell bunny in no time.


Anything else we can hlep you with don't hesitate to put it to the committee but please bear in mind that you'll not get an answer until the Monday for anything submitted after 12 noon on a Friday.


Hymn.

I can't get that Jungle Book song out of my head, the Monkey one,

"Ah Skooby do! Ahwanna be like you ooh ooh.
I wanna walk like you, talk like you it's true ooh ooh."


Make it stop!


Make it stop!!!!!


(See that? I added the Monkey bit, not only to freak Skoob out, but also to give Monkey Woods nothing to mull over until his turn.)

It's a full time job.

It's a small world after all.
It's a small world after all.
It's a small world after all.
It's a small world after all.


Fergus, you would cut your throat if this insidious song got caught in your mental loop!

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Quote: Fergus McCarthy

I can't get that Jungle Book song out of my head, the Monkey one,

"Ah Skooby do! Ahwanna be like you ooh ooh.
I wanna walk like you, talk like you it's true ooh ooh."


Make it stop!


Make it stop!!!!!


(See that? I added the Monkey bit, not only to freak Skoob out, but also to give Monkey Woods nothing to mull over until his turn.)

It's a full time job.

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I'm so sorry Ferg, but I can't get that song out of my head either. There's another one, immortalised by Frank Sinatra, 'Strangers In The Night' where ol' blue eyes sings "Skooby Dooby Doo"

Regards

Skoob.

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Quote: Frankie The J

My next news spoof will be my 100th. I've just about given up because I cannot find a topic worthy of such a round number as 100.

I've worn out Nancy Pelosi's vagina.
Pussy is getting passe.
Monsignor Francois Dubois, S.J. won't talk to me any longer.
Madame Bitters hid the bong and threw the bw at me when I approached her for an idea.
Skoob, my guru, ignores me.
Buck is above me--either thant, or I'm beneath his contempt.
Fergus thinks I'm nasty.
Monkey Woods stole my gal.
Smurfette is too tall in heels, plus that dildo is massive.
QM, never liked me.
Jmmy Buffet already wrote: "My head hurts; my feet stink; and I don't love Jesus."
All the good one's are taken (except me).
J-Man is untouchable now that he's got a really hot pecker.

I'm going InSeine.

Won't somebody help an old altar boy?

---

What's Old is Gnu
Gnu Kids on the Block
Gnu fashions for Fall
Gnu Democratic Party of Canada Considers Name Change

See if you can work with this . . .

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Quote: Fergus McCarthy

"Fergus thinks I'm nasty"


You have no idea what I think. Only Jesus Budda, Monkey Woods, Duncan, Earl Grey and.....Wait for it..........Myslef, could possibly know what I'm thinking.

I'm sure they'll let me know when it's their turn to have a go.


Why would you say such things? You've already upset the QM. You know how sensitive we are and you just jackboot your way in here making assumptions about people!

It'll take weeks now before the QM feels up to sending me her dirty pm's again. I don't mind too much but Jalapenoman and Buck'll be livid.


No. Not nasty.

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I don't even know what I'm thinking most of the time.

"Smurfette is too tall in heels, plus that dildo is massive."

i am actually quite short; most people are much taller than me. heck, i am even short for a smurf.

but i have changed my wardrobe since you posted your complaint.

i hope it is more to your liking; if not, please dial 547-769-4787. (go on, figure it out, you know you want to)

signed,

slightly miffed

lmao

p.s. i have a collection of story ideas complete with research and notes i no longer intend to use that you are quite welcome to use if you'd like

smurfette,

just so long as ya ain't slightly muffed.

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Quote: Frankie The J

smurfette,

just so long as ya ain't slightly muffed.

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How about a gun!

Personally speaking, I could never be attracted to a blue person.

Blue people tend to sing in Southern USA accents, bemoaning their lot in life. Like how their woman left them, how the dog walked out, how it's always raining. How they missed the train.

No blue folks for me thankyou very much.

Regards

Skoob.

Skoob, speaking of blue people:

Elvis sang about Blue Hawaii.

Nothing and nobody is really blue there, unless it's all the men with blueball who get that way looking at all the hula girls in their grass skirts.

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Quote: Frankie The J

smurfette,

just so long as ya ain't slightly muffed.

---

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my muff is quite adorable, thank you very much

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Quote: Skoob1999

Personally speaking, I could never be attracted to a blue person.

Blue people tend to sing in Southern USA accents, bemoaning their lot in life. Like how their woman left them, how the dog walked out, how it's always raining. How they missed the train.

No blue folks for me thankyou very much.

Regards

Skoob.

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are you still bitter about the invitation to the submarine exhibit i respectfully declined?

i'm sorry, already.....

some people just can't handle rejection

*sigh*

I thought of a reply to the previous two posts, but then I got confused.

Regards

Skoob.

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Quote: smurfette


my muff is quite adorable, thank you very much

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Speaking for all of us....I think that you should post a picture (or video) and allow your fellow writers to be the judge of that.

After all, when you tell us about your adorable muff and invite us to kiss your grits, you musn't be a tease!

Oops, sorry for the double post.

I guess my computer was just trying to emphasize the prior comment.

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Quote: Jalapenoman

Oops, sorry for the double post.

I guess my computer was just trying to emphasize the prior comment.

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Your hot horny spicy thing is growing by the second JP!