Simon Cowell - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 26 April 2012

I woke up this morning and was completely dismayed not to see any mention of my name in the papers. Not even a word byte in the colour supplement. Really, what has the press come to in this country? Don't they appreciate talent and inordinate skill anymore? I mean Reggie Dwight seems to get a shirtload of columns, particularly from the Sun, when he just wiggles his finger. I'm far and away the most significant personality in this country since William the Conqueror. I command the respect of every working class pleb with my shows so dammit why don't the press conform accordingly. I think I just heard my mobile phone ring. Hopefully that's Rupert ringing to say sorry!

Previous Dates Next Dates

« Full list of Spoof Celebrity Diaries

Send to a friend

Tell your friends about The Spoof!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more