George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Monday, 6 January 2014

Dear Diario,

What's up? I'm was just up to the usual: eattin Cheetos in my undies while watching a old re-run of "THE JERSEY SHORE." Man those guys are cool. To bad this show wasn't runnin when I was still in office. I wudda gave them a gold metal for awesomeness or somethin. Snooki's pretty cute for a boy. I hate to admit that since it makes me sound like one of them queers, but hey, writing in a diary is pretty gay to begin with. HE-HE!

Just kiddin Diario. You know I enjoy your papery company. Your pages are smooth like southern silky-goodness. I also admire the pink fuzz around you're bindin and the epic picture of teenage Brittney Spears on your cover. Man, whatever happened to her any way? Like WTF? All you see now-adays on the MT-Television is the Miley Cirus and the Biebs shakin their money makers and making the kids go crazy and snort pills. It was only cool when I was doin that stuff, now everybodies doin it. Thats not fair. I deserve to be in my own music video too! I wanna be naked while ridin a wreckin ball singing pop songs. Hell, nobody gave me credit for doin that typa shit back in college. Cocaines a hell of a drug. He-He!

Anyway Diario, my point is this countree needs Britteny back...and me. We should team up and rule this countree togehter. We'd call it BushySpears Land. Ya! that has a nice ring to it. Can ya dig it!

Sorry to write your non existing ears off, but I've been a bit down lately. Just need some one to talk ta. Laurie don't like talkin ta me. She thinks I'm stoopid. Anyways, I miss my seat in the White House. But unfortunately it's a Black House now so Imma have to get used to it. But the pain of seein a black Demycrat in that house makes my tum-tum churn. This countree was goin places when I was runnin it. Yep. I am a awesome sum-of-a-bitch. Maybe one day ppl will realize my powers of dopeness and allow me to be king again. But until that day Diario, I'm jus gonna keep complainin to you.

OW PAPER CUT!

Sinseerly,

W.